It scares me. Terrifying. Dread.
Part of what's bothering me is that all of the numbers are so low.
K's eighth birthday is Tuesday (the 23rd).
Valentine's Day... could be happy if it just didn't happen this year.
T's second birthday is in March.
Ellicia's fortieth birthday would be in May.
Our third anniversary was this year. (And I reread this post again, and was saddened. Sigh)
And M's fifth birthday comes in November (on Cancer day).
And then, there's Thanksgiving, Christmas without Mommy, and New Year's Eve (which will never be the same again.)
I'd like to just skip this year. Is that possible? Ellicia always told me that she had the easier path, and worried for me... She knew. Such Love.
7 comments:
Reid,
You really have EVERY right to be overwhelmed....you have been so strong.
Just please remember you can do one minute at a time. One minute at a time.
Heck one second at a time if you have to.
Reid,
I just found your blog tonight and have spent the past hour or so reading about your beautiful wife and the events of the past few weeks. I am so sorry that she lost her battle with cancer, but am amazed at your love and devotion to Ellicia. Thank you for sharing all your photos too. "Treasured Love" is the perfect inscription!
It's OK to feel what you're feeling. It's clear, with your faith and strength and courage, that you will be able to move forward, even if just one day at a time. And somewhere along the line, when you least expect it, you might have a really rough day--
but you'll be able to get through that too. You're an awesome man! May you and your family continue to be blessed with peace and comfort.
Reid, Ellicia is right .. the ones left behind have the toughest path .. but life must go on so you owe it to yourself, your children and most of all to Ellicia. Be strong and aim for the future is what Ellicia would want of you - she trusted and loved you and chose you to be the loving and devoted father of her children. Memories will always be there no matter what happens through your life. Treasure those memories.
Les & Colleen
(((hugs)))) Like someone else said - just one minute at a time.. try not to look at the whole huge year in front of you at once...just what's right in front of you, right now.... (((hugs))) hang in there and never forget we are here for you no matter what.
I just came accross your blog while looking for people currently serving in Afghanistan. I am the US correspondent from a Madrid (Spain)-based magazine. I feel that somehow we are forgetting what those brave men and women are accomplishing there, while the problems in Iraq get all the media attention.
After reading a big part of your blog (tears still rolling down my cheeks), I feel it is really my duty to report to my readers how hard it is for all involved, and how much we (and the rest of the world) owe you guys. Please, rest assured that many of us feel we have a huge debt with people like you and your wife.
If you know of anyone deployed there who would want to be portrayed in my article, please let me know. You can contact me at sobt38@excite.com.
Stay strong, and take care.
With admiration,
Alicia
PD.-Funny. My birthday is tomorrow too.
One day at a time is more than a slogan for AA. It's definitely words to live by. You cannot take on the world nor tomorrows problems. You'll get there and Ellicia will be with you always.
Listening to a song at the moment and the chorus...
"God only cries for the living 'Cause it's the living that are left to carry on...."
Dear Soldier,
I am surviving one moment at a time with you. Just one at a time. Just one at a time. Let each of your children distract you as much as possible. Let kitty bother you effortlessly (if she's the type). Count her whiskers (careful not to actually touch them, this is just a visual task). A lot of stuff will present their own solutions sometimes.
I am sending you many strong hugs, please distribute them liberally,
alexa kim
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