Hotel California

And so, Day 4... or 5... I'm not really sure.

Feel like a slug.

Sleep schedule is REALLY messed up. Sleep 2-3 hours here, 8 there. All times of day or night. Nothing to do.

Well, there is the Internet. But it's for the low, low AAFES price of $5 per hour. That's right, $5 per hour. AAFES "goes where we go" because they know they can fleece us blind. There are at least 30 machines in this Internet cafe, at least 75% in use 24 hours a day. That's an average of $2700 taken in per day, $81000 per month. There is NO way their internet service costs that much.

But we pay it. What else to do? Use phone cards to call someone? AT&T (and it's partner AAFES) have extremely low rates on the military calling cards - rates of 14 to 17 cents a minute are often found.

Let's see, what else to do?

Well, I walk a lot. I've done a few mind-numbing laps around the camp. That was fun.

Watched the sun go down.

Enjoyed the private airshow we get by being close to the airbase.

There's always chow. DFAC here is awesome... but, have to be careful... since I'm as active as a slug right now, I can quickly gain back what I lost (yes, LOST!!!) on leave.

So, we sit.

And sleep.

And show up to the formations, regularly scheduled at 0900 and 1700, and whenever else they'd like to see us.

I just bought shaving creme (I'm out, but have several full cans waiting for me at KAF - thought I'd have enough to make the trip... wrong.) and a towel for a shower. Going to scrounge up some laundry detergent. All of which means that now that I've spent $$$ on stuff I didn't want to buy, I'll get a flight before I can use it.

Cabin fever here.

Don't get me wrong... it's not bad here. (Relatively speaking...)

Although, they should tell people before testing their sirens. This camp is a stopover for people going to and returning from the combat zones. Perhaps a warning about the sirens going off would be appropriate? Heard them go off myself, first thought was, "Wonder where the bunkers are?" segueing into "There are none..." then to "Oh well, back to sleep - nothing can do about it." Heard later some people were fairly jumpy.

Anyway, that's the news...

Still In Kuwait

We have several formations a day where we all shuffle to the big room, wait to find out who's flying and who's not. Since Kandahar is about the hardest to get to, we're starting to add up.

No one's really in a hurry. As much as we HATE staying here (Cannot describe the intensity of the boredom here), it's still better than there.

Besides, our clocks are running whether we're here or there... so... why rush. They'll get us back when they do...

So, till later...

On The Way Back...

I'm now back in the Holding Pen in Kuwait. What a morose experience this has turned out to be.

Leaving the family in Frankfurt (again) was just about as horrible as it can get. M clinging tightly, T being sweet, and E doing her best to let me be the only one with tears in the eyes.

On the flight to Qatar, of the servicefolks I saw, none of us were talking.

When we arrived at Kuwait International Airport, we had a bit of a surreal experience. Here we are, proceeding back to the war(s), but first... we must clear customs. We're all just showing our military IDs (instead of everyone else using passports), and here is a large military contingent moving through, but first - we have to be screened. Ahhhh, the joys of flying commercially to the war.

We were herded together and told to wait for our buses. When they arrived, they guided us through the airport, and we were just being stared at. You could have led naked women on camels through the airport and seen the same reaction.

Long ride back to the base with the "covert" escorts. And the inprocessing begins. Soon, good-bye to the civvies, and back to the war.

Yippee.

Joy.

Just $!@$% fantastic.

Just Like "Family Circus"

Sometimes, I get help when working on the blog. I thought I'd give y'all a sneak peek at one of my wonderful assistants. You can see him at work on the computer and also another just looking cute (Sorry ladies, he's Mommy's for a few more years).

Last Dinner

Not as morbid as the title. We went out to eat, as a family, to a real gasthof (restaurant) and overall, had a good time. Didn't have huge expectations - for example, wasn't really surprised when M didn't eat everything... so, no biggie.

K provided a huge laugh for the evening. She was being fussy and not wanting to eat her food. Amongst the many reasons for her not eating that she gave was the following: "My teeth are weak because I'm tired."

Not sure how her teeth were weakening so quickly, or how a nap might improve it, but we have been laughing about it since...

It seems reminiscient of Lewis Black's comedy routine about "If it weren't for my horse..."

Anyways, it was a GREAT steak and had good time with kids, brattiness and all. Love 'em. Leave for Frankfurt in a few hours to catch my plane.

Oh joy. Yippee.

In All Fairness...

Alitalia delivered our lost bag today. Only 9 days after lost, and it disrupted a trip (since E had no clothes for the whole week and some of mine were in there, too...), not too horrible. We really didn't expect to see it again based on our experiences with the bureaucracy of Alitalia. We believed we'd witnessed a near perfect demonstration of "Runaround".

However, once they found the bag (in Milan, with "Air Italy"), they were quite determined to get it to me. I received no fewer than 3 phone calls within 24 hours, at all hours (how many airlines do YOU know call at 2245 about delivering your bag?).

So, our luggage is back. We, of course, still need to pursue the claims for the clothes we bought in Malta and for the damage to the stroller, but...

We're pleasantly surprised to have back that which we never expected to see again.

(I was so worried I'd forever lost my pair of highly polished black jackboots. hehehe)

An Anonymous Moonbat Writes In

Oooooooh, I received a special present in my inbox this morning. It appears that my blog (if moonbats are to be believed) is read in such far away places as... Malta! Delightful. And here I thought it was just a small diary of what goes on in my life.

Anyways, this particular moonbat posted a comment to my long post about the goings on in Malta. I suspect it wasn't the picture of Thomas that got it agitated so much as, and I'm going out on a limb here, the description of the "Million Maltese March".

To be fair to the moonbats, whom by seeing the protest attendance don't get too many people hearing their view, I'm going to bring the comment out for EVERYone to see (there's what... 6 or 7 of you reading this now?).

So, here now, from our beloved on location moonbat in Malta:

While you have been having a break with your family in Malta, you creep, I wonder how many Afghan families you and your fellow assassins have destroyed.

You do not achieve democracy by UNDEMOCRATIC means. Put that in your little mind and try to explain it to the little minds of Americans who think like you. Luckily, you are in a minority of fascists in uniform.

A MALTESE PEACE-LOVER

I would have been more than happy to respond intellectually with our intrepid moonbat, though judging by the "you creep", I'm not likely to get a positive response.

Anyway, I've never been called a fascist before and it is quite a new feeling. I almost feel like I should be wearing jackboots or such, and while I did transit Italy on my trip, I didn't have the opportunity to check in with the Mussolini society.

What is a fascist? Well, any good dictionary will tell you that it's one who supports fascisim. But the GREAT dictionaries, such as Merriam-Webster Online, further define it as:
Main Entry: fas·cism
Pronunciation: 'fa-"shi-z&m also 'fa-"si-
Function: noun
Etymology: Italian fascismo, from fascio bundle, fasces, group, from Latin fascis bundle & fasces fasces
1 often capitalized : a political philosophy, movement, or regime (as that of the Fascisti) that exalts nation and often race above the individual and that stands for a centralized autocratic government headed by a dictatorial leader, severe economic and social regimentation, and forcible suppression of opposition
2 : a tendency toward or actual exercise of strong autocratic or dictatorial control - fas·cist /-shist also -sist/ noun or adjective, often capitalized

So, according to this, *I* support dictators, and severe economic and social regimentation. Darn my near-perfect voting record and support of capitalism. Forcible suppression of opposition would have meant I'd delete the comment.

I don't think fascism means what our moonbat thinks it means.

But, maybe I'm wrong. So, attention fellow little minds (especially those in uniform):
Support Fascism! Get out and vote. Vote often. Spend your money... Spread it around. And don't forget to share ideas. Long live Fascism.

Oh, and one last thing... it should be noted dear peace-lover in Malta that the most fervent, die-hard anti-war persons are... Soldiers. Soldiers hate war. Especially those who've been in it. No Soldier wishes to fight a war. We strive for peace. Keep that in mind, little or big.

Scenes From Malta

Well, we've had fun doing nothing, next to nothing, a little bit more than nothing, and every now and then... stretching our legs and doing just a bit of something.

Some have asked what there is to do in Malta. Good question. After a week here, I can tell you - we're not sure.

Malta's been around for thousands of years. Being that it's directly in the middle of the Med, has a large natural harbor, and is a large chunk of rock in the middle of the sea, it was destined to be stumbled upon by people in boats, as far back as the early Phoenicians (check your history books). There are even some old Roman ruins here.

Not to sound too blase, but... I guess part of the letdown (that is, if you're expecting exciting ruins) is that ruined stone looks like ruined stone. Whether destroyed Roman house, destroyed Moor house, or destroyed Medieval house... it looks like chunks of stone scattered around.

What about the Knights of Malta? As one might expect from their name, they've played a large role in the history of Malta. From what I can gather from the tours, though, Malta's history is rather thin, so a large part of thin is still thin. They ruled Malta, built it up, fortified it, and can still be found around... but aside from battles with Turks, no major news here.


On some tours, they'll point out all the fortifications. On other tours, they discuss all the times Malta's been conquered. Conclusion - Malta has built a lot of unsuccessful, yet impressive fortifications.

All that said, Malta is an impressive, sleepy town. Yes, yes, Malta is really many towns, but it really seems like one big town. Everything is tucked into corners and any available spot that can be found. The people are friendly. Crime seems minor. The newspaper carries such major stories as the new car fleet at Avis and McDonald's has a new menu.

We have had quite a bit of fun just wandering and meandering. We picked up a stack of brochures and tried a few of the tours - educational, but not much to tour. Here are some pictures of us having some fun...

Some interesting experiences? Well, on one day, while wandering around the capital of Valleta, we learned that there was going to be a military tattoo. A tattoo is basically like a military music concert / marching demonstration. Ooooooh. Sadly, the tickets were sold out. However, we did just happen to be in the right place for a parade! Yippee!

Thomas has never seen a parade, and what little boy would not love to see a parade? What with the marching and the horns tooting and the drums... ooooh, people allowed to bang on things. It doesn't get any better than that. Thomas was absolutely entranced as the various groups came marching by on the way to the main city square for the tattoo. Each one represented some small group that was taking part. It was exciting... not just to watch them, but to watch Thomas positively lose his little boy mind while they went by.

Of a special devious pleasure for me, there was a protest set-up in a square just down the street from the square where the tattoo was. In the picture I've included, it is easy to see the large turnout for the protest. Ok, there were maybe 5 or 6, if you don't count the people actually setting up their protest area. All the goodies were there. There were signs for "Peace Not War", "All Different, All Equal" (not a math major), protests against McDonald's, Nike, Adidas, the usual exhortations for workers to unite... I was just soooo tempted to go and introduce myself and what I do for a living, but... that wouldn't have been prudent. Never know what the moonbats will do.

I'm all for protesting. It does have a very valid place in democratic dialogue. But, I'm just wondering what they were expecting to happen? Is someone going to call the President and say, "Sir... there are some protesters in Malta asking for Peace, not War," and the President says, "Well, ok then, call the generals!"

The McDonald's protest was set up across the street from a Burger King. No indication how Burger King felt about the protest. I wanted to go and buy Big Macs for everyone though.


They had a large stage set up so they could have their protest concert. It dawned on me that their noise was going to overplay the tattoo down the road. Perhaps another strategic mistake... I can envisage some happy audience members enjoying the tattoo show, and then upon hearing the protest music drift over and drown it out, kick themselves for finally realizing the evil doings of their lifestyle, shed their Nikes, and rush to join the protest. Maybe not.

It must be hard to be a protester. Workers Unite has been around for awhile, yet communism has failed, unions are declining. Nike and Adidas apparently (according to the moonbats) still use slave labor, and many people still wear such shoes. Birkenstocks, while comfy, are not yet used in the NBA. Maybe just one more protest.

As for "Peace Not War" (with the always ubiquitous Mercedes symbol)... if you never prepare for war, and are willing to commit war, you will not have peace. There will always be times where policy needs to be carried out via armed force - even when the policy is preventing others from exercising that force against you. While universal peace is certainly an ideal and a lofty one, it is an illusion. No? At how many peace protests these days do you see protesters throwing rocks and fists? These are the most basic weapons and if "peace" protesters are using them, can peace be far behind? What would a peace protest be like if the protesters had bigger weapons?

Where is Malta?

So, just where is Malta?

As you can see from this map, Malta is a HUGE country... ok, not really. It's situated in almost the exact middle of the Mediterranean Sea.

Think of it as a pebble for the boot of Italy to step on.

In Malta

Well, we've made it.

We had a delightful journey of flights to get to Malta. We were able to schedule an extra long round-about way of getting here... for no extra cost. Went from Frankfurt to Rome to Milan to Malta. Three flights. And Thomas was an angel. Very well behaved. An excellent flier. This was his first air journey on the outside (having previously flown, but been on the inside, and not really able to see what's going on.)

We flew on Alitalia. The flights themselves weren't bad - very comfortable and excellent service. However... (you knew that was coming) there were some snags. I'm glad we arrived at the airport super early. It took over an hour for our tickets to be processed - and we were the first in line. In process of the flight, our stroller was broken (not inoperable, but the activity tray and cupholder are presumably lying in a corner of an airport baggage area somewhere). And finally, when arriving in Malta... not all of our bags came with us. E's bag is nowhere to be found. We're discovering a whole new level of creative bureaucracy trying to resolve it.

There's an online bag tracker... neat tool. Let's me see from the hotel room that the bag is missing. I have FIVE phone numbers to call to check on progress. I'm glad Malta's no larger than it is... can't imagine how many numbers it'd be then.

And perhaps a more telling indicator? When we first filed the claim, we were handed a toiletry bag, "courtesy of Alitalia", that is stamped with their logo. Out of the way place like Malta, and they have a ready supply of these for folks who lose their luggage. Sigh. Not a good sign.

As for Malta, it's a quaint little island. The sea surrounding it is a brilliant blue.

How to describe it so far? Well... it reminds me a lot of India, but by the water. It's a small island, only about 14 x 24 km. The buildings, in fact most of the island, looks like it's "under renovation". The language here is diverse. There's no real "Maltese" language... just a fluid mix of English, Arabic, German, Italian, and French. The locals move in between the languages with ease, often in the same sentence. It is interesting to listen to.

It's very quiet and peaceful here... just perfect to escape to. I don't think I could get much farther from the rest of the world than here and still be connected to it...

Home... Finally.

I am home.

Finally.

It was quite the journey. Originally, we'd been booked out on a Lufthansa flight direct to Frankfurt. Sadly (yeah, right), the only seats available were Business Class. Well, there being no way the military was going to fly us in near-luxury, we were rescheduled. Yep, delayed about 12 more hours and booked on Qatar Airways. Connecting flights in Qatar (wrong direction)...

Now, I'll say this. Qatar Airways was nice and treated us very well. Excellent service. Long trip.

Military drove us in a bus to Kuwait City International Airport. Interesting note, we had Force Protection (not unexpected), but in civilian clothes... interesting, they brought along the weapons, but didn't want it to be obvious to the Kuwaitis.

We unloaded (at 0300 local time) to an empty airport. We were shepherded in through a side door, pointed towards where our tickets were and... left. Our flight was at 1000, and we had no idea where anything was or to check in. Luckily, some in our party have had a little bit experience travelling and figured it out. We then staked out benches, and with some standing watch, we rotated sleep shifts. It is interesting to note that the locals were quite taken with the females in our group... I'd catch them walking by staring as long as they could. Of course, when all you're used to seeing is basic Muslim T&A, then western-attired women must look better.

As part of ticketing, we watched the Arab equivalent of Tony Soprano, and his entourage, arrive. They were on their way home from a shopping trip. Two 27" TV's, some stereos (no one's told them about iPods), and no fewer than 12 other large boxes and some additional JUMBO suitcases. For the stereotype of women shoppers, here was the Muslim equivalent.

We flew to Doha, Qatar... Small little airport, swimming with oil money. Not a lot of time, but... it was a nice airport.

Flying in, we could see the vastness of the deserts, and also how absolutely beautiful the Gulf is.

Both flights, Qatar Airways accomodated me by putting me in exit rows with windows. I had more leg room than the Business Class folks! Very comfy. Nice seats. Wonderful service, nice meals (yes, plural... for anyone who's flown on US carriers recently, this is a nice treat).

Arrived in Frankfurt nice and late (thank you, Army). We'd been told how nice the system was set-up so that you got a "free" day of leave. Well, landing at 1800, not clearing the airport till 1915, and still having a 3 hour drive to Illesheim... not much left of the "free day". Not as much as when we'd originally been scheduled to arrive at 0600... oh well.

I arrived late enough that the kids were in bed. Next morning, I had to drive to Munich for some business with the Consulate, so was gone before they woke up. Thus, I got my "homecoming" when I returned from Munich.

Rissa was absolutely ecstatic. I opened the door and immediately heard, "DADDDDY!" Her face outshone the sun, it was so bright. She gave me tight hugs and kept saying "Daddy back". Kira, too, was excited, and gave hugs. Wasn't quite sure I was really back, at first, but seems content now.

As for Thomas, all of our work making sure he knew Daddy has paid off. He took one look at me, and broke into a big smile. He's laughing and giggling with me, and I am just happy to hold him.

It looks like it's going to be a good two weeks.

(Oh, and if you're wondering... Muslim T*A? Since many Muslims cover up the whole body, oftentimes all you'll see is the toe and ankle. T&A. Get your mind out of the gutter.)

Follow the Yellow Brick Road...

Well, I'm in Kuwait now...
(Another place on the planet I never thought I'd be.)

They sent us here on a C-17. A Charleston AFB C-17.
And, as much as I'd been hoping for a C-17 to take me home... and Charleston being such a good home... should I read anything into...

It was "The Spirit of Charleston" that took me out of there. The lead C-17 out of Charleston (I remember when she was delivered!) flew me and 50 other very happy folks out of Kandahar.

Along the way, we were able to stretch out and sleep on the floor. And for a lucky few, there was the chance to go up to the cockpit deck and say hi... check out the view (it was tremendous) and chat with fellow Charlestonians. They were genuinely surprised and pleased to see someone who knew where all the places were, that CAFB once had C-141's (nice bird, now retired), and remembered C-17's coming to CAFB... starting with "Spirit of Charleston".

What a pleasure to be on her. Great ride. C-17's were all I'd hoped it be. Very comfortable, and an amazing aircraft.


[Interesting aside]
Latrine was a bit full, so the males were directed to use the "Troop toilets". In the rear of the aircraft, one on each side, are essentially fancy tubes... designed to fit... er, men... to allow immediate relief of a liquid nature. Needless to say, quite a few folks took advantage of the opportunity to show their excitement and "Pee on the Stan" before we left the airspace.

As we flew over the gulf, we had an EXCELLENT view of the Palm islands in the gulf. Click on http://www.thepalm.ae/ to see what I mean.

Anyway, am here at the Global Military waystation... It's like Atlanta for the military... wherever you go, you have to change planes in Kuwait.

More later.

Schuss.

Tri, Tri, Tri Again...

Third time might be the charm.

Going back to the terminal @ 0745Z. Hopefully, we have a flight that doesn't get cancelled this time...

R&R: No Go, No $200

Tonight's flight was canceled. Now on standby for the 3rd, likely for the 4th. Looks like I'm going to end up rebooking the Malta trip. Since it take 2-3 days to get back, I just don't think I'm going to make it.

Of course, that means Ellicia has to re-line-up baby-sitters for the kids...

Grrrr. In our brief, we were told that every flight out so far has made it out within a day of their scheduled leave date.

My leave date was the first. Lucky me. Have to set the precedent.

On the bright side, later I leave, later I come back, and thus less left till we're done here.

So, after being up 24+ hours, I'm going to try to sleep a bit, and hope someone comes and knocks on my door to go fly.

R&R

So it begins!

Maybe.

Was originally scheduled to fly on the 1st.

No go.

2nd... we packed (had LESS than 2 hours notice to pack) and made it to the airport. They called for a formation of all R&R. We stood out there. The infantry guys (who were already delayed) received their paperwork... us? No paperwork. Kept waiting. Finally told to go back to barracks... we'd be contacted.

Sigh.

Trying again tonight.

Here's to hoping!

Malta!

Going to Malta on R&R leave. Anyone ever been? I never have, so this should be interesting. Some place I've NEVER been before.

Malta is a small island in the Mediterranean. Ellicia and I are going by ourselves (well, we're taking Thomas...)

Just a week alone... exploring. Relaxing.

So, if you've been to Malta, I'd love to hear from you...