It's been one month. None of this makes any sense to me.
Part of the day was routine and normal, as it always would have been.
Another part was aching with her absence.
And then there's parts where it's like she's not gone, and I almost expect to hear her voice at any moment. Maybe the phone will ring, or... I'll walk into the bedroom, and she'll be there. Or even that wonderful smile as she waits for me to help her with the bathroom...
Sigh.
One month. She's gone. Or, is she? I believe she's around. She did promise to haunt me.
I miss her.
4 comments:
She's there. You know it. Trust that.
You are in my prayers daily.
SC Eagle,
I relate to your disbelief, pain, and journey several times over.
The healing comes with time and the memories will only become more tender and dearer. Our loved ones who are gone will always be with us, for they've never gone far.
May you and the children be blessed with an abundance of love and inner strength as you continue this journey.
michele
http://lettersfromnyc.mu.nu
I've wanted to write to you for a long, long time. Each time I visited your site and read about your ongoing battles, I retreated, thinking that I had nothing of value to say to you and so thought it best to leave you alone. But today, as I was scanning my bookmarked sites, my eyes fell apon the link to your site and I knew that I couldn't put it off any longer. I had to write. I still don't know what to say other than I'm so very sorry for the pain you are suffering right now. I truly wish there was something I could do. It's funny...we've never met and yet I feel so bad that you are hurting.
An old friend....Nectarmaiden
As Homefront said, she's there. This will be the hardest year because it will be the first birthday/anniversary/July 4, etc. without her. You will find yourself learning so many things that she used to do. Succeeding years will be easier, but this one has to be journeyed through first. I wish I could take your pain from you or lessen it. But through pain comes strength and knowledge. My father died 32 years ago, and while I no longer miss him, I still find myself saying occasionally, "I wonder what Daddy would do/say about that?" But, of course, I am his legacy. And to some extent you will be part of hers since you will carry on a part of her that melded with part of you.
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