Saw Ellicia

I saw Ellicia for the first time today. First time since she'd died and they'd wheeled her away.

Was nervous. But, went right up to her...

She was covered in a sheet (up to her neck) because they didn't have clothes yet. The clothes I'd brought, even though she'd recently worn them, didn't fit anymore. I'd gone shopping for her, and selected a few outfits. (As an aside, Ellicia and I enjoyed doing clothes shopping, but men, I have to tell you... if you think clothes shopping is difficult, it's really hard when she can't try them on. Takes a lot of imagination.)

I think it's a beautiful outfit, and she'll look lovely in it.

Anyway, I was there today to let her father come to visit. Ellicia and her father had been estranged for the better part of 34 years. The reasons why are long gone and best forgotten. He'd sent an e-mail a few weeks ago reaching out to her. He'd learned of her troubles. She had a chance to read the e-mail, but... we never got to respond to it. But, I knew she wanted to.

So, he discovered the blog (handy thing, this is, no?). And when I posted that she'd died... well, he contacted the funeral home about being able to see her without causing a disruption. Classy, I think.

So, we arranged a time when he could come. The past is past, and I think a father should be able to say goodbye to his daughter.

It was very touching. I was worried because the last he'd seen her was when she was 5 and now... after the cancer... the look could be shocking. But, a father's love is undying, and he came to say goodbye. Gave her a kiss. And I felt bad for his loss. He'd lost his daughter... twice.



I'm really impressed with the amazing work of the funeral home. The funeral director had intimated to me that he and the staff had been truly shocked when they'd received her body. He said they thought that there'd been a horrible mistake, that the wrong body had been sent. He'd been worried that they wouldn't be able to do much as the cancer had ravaged her body so horribly.

I reassured him in this way. A week before she'd passed, Ellicia had said that she was looking forward to leaving the house and getting a chance to look pretty again. She hated how the mirror image looked. I told him, "She looks pretty again."

And she does.

Does she look the same as in some of the pictures in earlier posts? No. But, her beauty has always come from deeper than her skin. Her twinkling eyes, beaming smile, and the energy oozing from her... all made her very beautiful. And when I saw her lying there... her eyes may have been closed, and her mouth frozen, and the energy has left her body - but the beauty was still there. The peace with which she'd died... She's pretty again.