Pentagon Visit

Today, as part of my duties, I drove to the Pentagon. My unit's Command Sergeant Major, about six Sergeants Major, Two First Sergeants, and several Master Sergeants, and my NCO were going to take a tour. There may have also been a Partride in a pear tree, somewhere.

My day started at 0400, with being at work by 0500. Had the van set for full VIP service, and was ready to go. We finally departed around 0545 for the drive to DC.

Nothing like arriving in DC during rush-hour.

And there's also the joy of blissfully cruising the (largely empty) HOV lanes while the regular interstate sits in gridlock. (Hint: Use carpools or Metro... you'll get to work sooner.)

We get to the Pentagon, make our way through, and wait for our tour. A nice PFC from the Old Guard came and led us on our short tour. He was resplendent in his Dress Blues. I found it amusing that he stuck with his script insisting we call him by his first name. Right.

We started off at the Medal of Honor room. It included the recently added name of LT Michael Murphy, USN. There are both too many names... and too few.

We were led through several different themed corridors... until we reached a very poignant destination.

The America's Heroes Memorial. It's set in the Pentagon at the spot where American Airlines 77 slammed into the building. The very spot. And when you look out through the window there, you can see the USAF Memorial. One of the interesting facets of that memorial is that the center spire is aligned along the flight path of flight 77. You look out the window and can see the evocative path of the plane's approach. Chilling. Stunning. And, for me, for whom the USAF Memorial has always symbolized the soaring of flight and of the Thunderbirds, it was a complete reversal.

From there, we were led along an interior corridor and stopped after a good walk. The guide told us that we were now standing at the spot of the furthest point of impact of the plane into the building. We turned around, facing outside... and we were several hundred yards inside. The corridor was so long... It's beyond description the idea of the plane making it that far through such a stout building (remember, the workers on the other side of the Pentagon had no idea that anything had happened). The effectiveness of the attack was crystal clear. And yet, simultaneously, the futility.

I think I'll always remember that visit today.

Since When Do I Qualify?

Great, just great...

Another one of those funny emails gets forwarded around, and wait-a-second... I fall into the group it's talking about.

Lovely.

Take a look:

If you are 30 or older you will think this is hilarious!!!!

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up;
Like walking twenty-five miles to school every morning ...uphill BOTH ways yadda, yadda, yadda

And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it!

But now that... I'm over the ripe old age of thirty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today.

You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a dream Utopia! And I hate to say it but you kids today you don't know how good you've got it!

I mean, when I was a kid we didn’t have The Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the stupid library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!! There was no email!! We had to actually write somebody a letter ..with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there!

There were no MP3's or Napsters! You wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the record store and shoplift it yourself! Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ'd usually talk over the beginning and screw it all up!
We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal, that's it! And we didn’t have fancy Caller ID Boxes either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your mom, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, a collections agent, you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!
We didn't have any fancy Sony Play station video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like "Space Invaders" and "asteroids". Your guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen forever! And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE!

When you went to the movie theater there no such thing as stadium seating! All the seats were the same height! If a tall guy or some old broad with a hat sat in front of you and you couldn't see, you were just screwed!

Sure, we had cable television, but back then that was only like 15 channels and there was no on screen menu and no remote control! You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your butt and walk over to the TV to change the channel and there was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I’m saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little rat-tards!

And we didn’t have microwaves; if we wanted to heat something up we had to use the stove or go build a frigging fire ...

imagine that! If we wanted popcorn, we had to use that stupid Jiffy Pop thing and shake it over the stove forever like an idiot.

That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy.
You're spoiled!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1980!

Regards,
The over 30 Crowd

A New Blog

Another new blogger is taking the first tentative steps into a whole new world.

Take a look over at Miles on the Wind.

Tell her the SCEagle sent ya...

Need Some Blogger Help

Nothing exciting in this post. Just looking for some help with Blogger. Want to expand the size of this template a bit, so the main posts and the sidebar are a bit wider... basically a higher resolution compatibility. If you can help, I'd appreciate you dropping a line in the comments. Thanks.

What Cats Put Up With

There's a website where we can see just how docile some kitties are... or perhaps, it's a website maintained by cats to one day justify their going "postal" on the humans of the world.

There's one for dog lovers out there, but... you'll have to find it on your own.

Cute cat pictures.

Enjoy.

2007 Trick or Treating!

M is a butterfly and T is a roaring tiger... Was a little slow getting into it, but started catching onto the concept - say "Trick or Treat" and people give you candy! What a cool system...

T would roar and say "Rick or Reat"... M was very polite and wish everyone a "Happy Halloween" and say "Thank you"... Wonderful lil' darlings...

(Fe)Male Moment

One of my best friends sent me this photo, titled "The Real Miss America".



After duly sharing with a few folks hither and yon, another of my super close friends tipped me off to this treasure trove.

So, please indulge me this male moment. And to you women readers out there, please see this as inspiration and tribute to our women warriors. And to the men... well, I know better than to go for lofty ideals, so... just enjoy.

Prostitots

Mike Straka, one of my favorite columnists over on FOXNews has another good column out about how we prostitot our girls.

I, for one, have been very selective about the Halloween costumes. Even for M's age, the costumes available were atrocious.

I've written about this before...

Such a shame.

Beautiful Song and Video

I can't embed it as it's been disabled... (not sure the purpose of that, but not my choice.)

Anyway, please enjoy "Calling All Angels" by Train...

ValourIT

2007's ValourIT campaign has begun. This incredible campaign has raised hundreds of thousands of dollars to purchase laptops that are voice activated. These are then given to troops who've lost the use of their arms and can no longer type and work computers.

As part of the campaign, bloggers divide themselves into teams, by service... purely for competitive reasons.

Naturally, I'm supporting the Army.

Together, we all are supporting (fellow) troops. Please, donate today...

This campaign runs through Veterans' Day.

Remember Me

A video from Lizzie Palmer, seen around YouTube. (h/t to SpouseBuzz for clueing me into this.)

I could write any number of comments here... about how moving this is, or that it's amazing as Miss Palmer is so young, or how tears came to my eyes.

But, I won't.

This video speaks on its own.

Gig for Bean

Currently enjoying one of my favorite movies. I watch it everytime it comes on (and I know it's on, of course). Have the DVD, too. Before that... the VHS tape.

Wasn't a huge success at the box office, but then, many of the truly great ones aren't.

The music is excellent.

From what I've heard from those who'd know, it's fairly true to life.

And, it's got lots of great "lessons".

Enjoy...

An Eerie Emptiness

Recent travel through Atlanta. Big storm through the Northeast disrupted flights. It happens, no biggie. No fuss.

Eventually made it down to Atlanta. Lots of flights delayed. Including the one bringing the plane in that I'll need to continue my journey.

Time passes.

Atlanta has large banks of display screens allowing the ability to display hundreds of departing flights.

At this moment, there are two flights displayed. In a few minutes, it'll be down to one. Mine.

The airport is largely dark, and quiet.

The world's busiest airport... quiet. Few people roaming around. No steady stream of aircraft landing and departing.

Planes parked quietly, resting in anticpation of another busy day in the air.

Eerie. Peaceful. And very unique...

Just For Comparison's Sake

On one hand, we have members of the United States Senate trying to stifle a citizen’s free and public speech.

 

On the other hand, we have members of the public driving a charity auction (of the official letter detailing this action) to over TWO MILLION DOLLARS.

 

And that citizen who was the focus of the letter?  Matched the winning bid.  Nice touch.

 

Four million dollars to charity.

 

Attempting to restrict, through indirect means of power, a citizen’s right to speak.

 

Just saying.

An Honorable General

Please take a peek at the post over on Blackfive.

What an honorable leader. He remembers where he came from, how he got there, and those who were unable to complete the journey with him.

Salute, Sir.... Leading by example.

Future Construction Workers

Look at what the kidlets got to do... You can see M (blue shirt) and T having an absolute blast...

They're not just sitting in the machine, you may be able to notice their hands are on the controls, working the machines. As T would like to say, "Tonkas are for little babies!"

No word on if they've joined the union or not, but the smiles on the faces... priceless.

Cat Owners - Do YOU Recognize This Cat?

I bet you do... It's mine. I'm sure of it.



(BTW, if anyone knows to whom I can give credit, please let me know.)

This Is Just WRONG

"SGT Hook" has it right... he calls his post, "When Angels Cry".

Things like this just should NOT happen.

What am I talking about?

From SGT Hook:

We have a Specialist 4 John who was stationed at Ft. Bliss, Tx. in El Paso, Tx. and he was deployed to Iraq,injured and send to BAMC in San Antonio,Tx. he was in Med Hold and was going to be released soon back to his duty station and his wife Monalisa was driving up from Ft. Bliss where there three Children 9 year boy named Tyler, 5 year old girl named Ashley and 2 year old son named Logan.

Right outside Ozona, Tx. a truck hit them and from the nearest hospital they were life-flighted to Dallas, Tx. I am very sorry to say that the two year old Logan and the five year old Ashley were killed in the crash. Tyler is in Children’s Hospital at Dallas, Tx.

Monalisa is in Parkland hospital next door to Children’s Hospital.

Monalisa has a head wound, they thought she has 2 broken vertebrae in her neck or back and a broken arm. Turns out she looks worse than she is. No broken vertebra just some compressed disks and the head wound wasn’t as bad as they thought.

She just has a lot of bruises.

John was brought to the hospital in Dallas and he is with the family along with a 1st. Sgt. who is taking on the problems they are facing . This accident occurred Sat. 10/13/2007 and as of right now Tyler is still in a coma no better but no worse.

My Heart goes out to this family... sigh.

A New Grandmother

One of my close(st) friends has newly become a grandmother. First in my generation or age group.

A whole new feeling.

And look at these pictures! Wow, such a beautiful, new life.

Welcome, Kelsi. May Life be a wonderful joy to you.

And for those who are curious, 5 lbs 8 oz... Very happy.

Technology Today

Isn't technology amazing? In my hand, I am holding more computing power than the astronauts used when they went to the moon.

This blog entry isn't being made at a computer. Not even a laptop. I'm in my van sending it in from my phone's access to the Net.

From my phone, I can do just about anything, including download the latest weather image from satellites in orbit.

Fifty years ago, the world was adjusting to the very concept of objects in space. The mere idea of communicating with the WHOLE WORLD via a handheld device... Would have made impressive science fiction.

What will people be capable of doing fifty years from now? What will MY children find commonplace that will amaze me (besides their taste in music)?

I can only hope, and excitedly await, for what someone Imagines.

New Storm

Before, there was a bolt from the blue.
Heart would Race, Toes would curl;
As Love courses throughout you...
Losing oneself in an endless swirl.

Lightening doesn't have to strike twice
Can you feel such ecstacy again?
But oh the pleasure, and potential joy
When you realize it's begun to rain!



(Inspired by someone special who's cast a spell on me. You know who you are.)

Flying Porn

Thanks to SrA Erik Hofmeyer for a spectacular photo!

I had always wanted to be in the Air Force. Life didn't work out that way, but had I been so blessed, the job I dreamed of was in-flight refueller. Just look at the office view!

Ahhhh....

National Breast Cancer Awareness Month

October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month.

Are you aware?

If you're a man, do you think you're safe? (You're not - Men get breast cancer, too. Just because women's breasts look better than ours doesn't mean our breasts can't get cancer cells, too. Check yourself.)

Are you too young to have breast cancer? (No... you're not. It's not a disease just for mature women... Ellicia died at the age of 39. Check yourself.)

You're safe... no one in your family has ever had breast cancer. (Sorry, folks... that doesn't rule it out for you, either.)

Bottom line. Check yourself. Are you over 40, or other riskier categories (check the websites for details - I won't duplicate their fine efforts here)? Have the mammogram. Yes, it might hurt (not all women say it hurts like hell, and considering there're a few parts on me I don't want squished flat, I'm going to acknowledge that it probably does hurt like hell), but... which would you rather have... a mammogram, or find out the rough way that you have breast cancer?

Do the Self-Breast Exam. Have a partner? Have them help. It's well-known fact that husbands often find the first tumors.

And here's the biggie. Don't be afraid to look. Yes, you might find something... But whether you look or not, if it's there, it's there. Knowing it's there EMPOWERS you to do something about it... and fight it.

(Internet) Radio Shows

I want to take some time and plug some radio shows...

First is one that's been a longtime favorite of mine, for a lot of reasons. The host is a wonderful lady, and she's been such a supportive friend. Throw into the mix that her radio show is rarely dull, and I like to check in on her from time to time. She has a genuine over-the-airwaves show on Sundays at WDBO-580 AM in Orlando, FL on Sundays. You can also catch her here:



I've also recently been tipped off to another show. This one is called "Army Wives Talk Radio". Seems to be a great resource for military spouses out there. And I've been asked to call in (and I'm going to) for an upcoming show.




Take a look and a listen...

And if you have some other suggestions, please drop me a line.

Sad, Beautiful... Even in Death

As many of you know, I love aircraft. They're downright beautiful, and seductive in their soaring quest to fly.

And it's very sad (to me, at least) when it comes time for them to die. Some are given new lives in Aviation Museums, where they can convey the awe and imagination of flight to future generations.

However, others meet a worse though often inevitable fate. They are broken up to be melted down for recycling. Aircraft which were well cared for and lovingly maintained must wait, standing mute and patient as a large pincer comes and rips it into little pieces - never to soar again.

A photographer out has created some wonderful, artistic images, and I'd encourage you to go take a peek.

Aircraft in the boneyards...

Happy Anniversary

Today would have been our third wedding aniversary.

That's right, third.

As I often think, that's a very low number. You always hear about people celebrating their twenty-fifth, fiftieth, sixtieth, etc.

We never made it to three.

Sigh.

It just wasn't in the cards. And the strange thing is, no matter what, we would not have shared this anniverary together. Healthwise, we knew long ago that she would not be alive for this date. Had she have been, had she been in perfect health, I'd be in Iraq right now. So again, separated.

Day struck kind of hard. Every now in then, just when you think your life is "back on track" and that you're adjusting, you get jolted out of your comfortzone.

Like today.

Thank you to the two people who also remembered - the roses were pretty and so were the shared memories.

And to Ellicia... Happy Anniversary. We may not have made it to three, but we packed in more in those short years than some folks who go all the way to sixty-three.

I wrote to you on our first anniversary (and we were apart)... and it's still true and amazing to me even now... My Hero.

*

500 Years of Women in Western Art

So often, I believe, some of the great subjects in school are mis-taught. Be it Math, History, or even... Art Appreciation.

How many of us had a professor who focused on lines and light, and the technical aspects of art? Yes, these are factors which are important in great art, but it's important to truly appreciate art, as well.

And here is a video that accomplishes more than most professors ever did. Sadly.

(Now, if I can get a video that shows how Math should be taught...)

No Compassion

This article hit a bit close to home.

Thankfully, Ellicia never had to endure quite this level of indignity, though... there were some difficulties and lack of compassion going through airport security. And then, there was this incident.

I empathize for this woman and all the difficulties she's going through... and that which is yet to come.

And perhaps, just perhaps, as we continue to search for the next terrorist who might make an attack on us using aircraft... (instead of maybe checking and securing the border...) we'll show a bit of compassion and common sense.

I understand the TSA agents getting a bit jaded. I can only imagine the feeling of superiority that comes after hours and hours, day in and day out, reminding people who've passed three to four different signs, been advised in person, been pre-checked, and are probably even familiar with the multiple jokes about what you can and cannot take on an airliner... that they can't bring the liquid, the nail clippers, or the chainsaw onboard the aircraft. Yes, the flying public can no doubt be dense, incomprehensibly difficult to deal with, and several other lovely descriptions...

BUT...

That's the public, and we need to remember to step back and treat each individual as we'd want to be treated ourselves.

Sam the Bell-Hop

Now, for a break...

This is a nice tale told by Bill Malone, a magician.

Enjoy!

Thought I'd share some pictures

I wanted to share some recent pictures... some snapshots of moments in life.


Thomas working on his latest masterpiece.



Peeking out from a neighbor's play fort... Young sentry ensuring all is safe on his watch.

or

Something really neat, like maybe a squirrel!, caught his attention.






Sometimes the best part of a day is just enjoying a few minutes on a swing...

Hero Saluting Heroes

Recently, you'll recall the tragic deaths of the 9 Charleston firefighters.

They were buried a few days ago. It was a major event, as thousands upon thousands poured out to say good-bye. Fire departments from all over the world, I hear, sent representatives to give their respects.

And along the route that the hearses drove, many more lined the streets, giving a final farewell to these heroes.

Including one of mine.

Just so happens someone caught this picture...

8 Simple Rules...

ABC Family channel has recently started airing "8 Simple Rules (for Dating my Teenage Daughter)".

Wow.

I missed this show when it came around, and only caught a few episodes on AFN.

It is so refreshing. No language. No gratuitous ________. Still deals with "issues" and still presents entertaining episodes... Just fun. Don't have to worry about holding the remote in case the episode goes out of control...

And I miss John Ritter. While I could do without almost all of his efforts on "Three's Company", I find several of his later works to be entertaining. I remember hearing when he died (I was in formation at AIT) and being very sad.

It airs at 1800 - 1900 on ABC Family... go and enjoy... I record it and it is a nice respite for me.

(Followed by my guilty indulgence of "Whose Line is it Anyway?". I roll all around the floor laughing during this show. Anyone else? Who's your favorite? Ryan? Colin? Greg? Drew? Wayne? Laura Hall? Or one of the lesser featured ones? Don't know who/what I'm writing about? You are at a giant loss...)

Military Motivator

Ok, folks, friends... take a look over here at Military Motivator.

We all know those cheesy, annoying, unmotivating motivational posters hung in hallways and offices of middle managers everywhere.

Well, leave it to the military to do it differently... and arguably, better.

Enjoy.

Heroes

You've seen it on the news. 9 firefighters died in a fire in Charleston, SC. I know the store... shopped in it. Didn't buy anything, but that's beside the point.

These firefighters went INTO the building... a building on fire... a building that everyone inside was desperate to leave. They went IN. And rescued those inside. They were outside. And they went back in to make sure everyone else was out.




And then the roof collapsed.

Heroes walk amongst us, and so often, we never know their names until they're just a picture.

I urge you all... learn the name of a hero... before they become a picture. We all know Paris Hilton's name... Britney, Insert Favorite Sport Star Here, etc... Learn the name of a hero in your community... they're walking right amongst us, silently, no attention, no press... but they're there.

Father's Day

Very disappointing this year... just wasn't the same, really.

It started off nicely. M came and woke me up with several sweet "Happy Father's Day."

Afterwards, I went to take a shower, and that's where it went downhill...

While in the shower, the munchkins ate my Daddy's Day present that M had given me. And lied about it... of course, because that's one of the fundamental rules of being a kid, right?

Yesterday, it was coloring on the window sill... today, the carpet.

We left the house, and started with a few errands on the way to Daddy's Day lunch at the Waffle House. Kids tag-teaming their screaming and screaching the whole way there...

Came back, and it just continues...

Yay.

M's lying has gotten atrocious... she lies about everything and seems to beg to want to get in trouble... is fishing for negative attention when I'm eager to give her good attention.

Very frustrating day.

This gets easier, right?

Prosti-totting Our Kids

Went shopping in Wallyworld... wanted to find some new shoes for the lil' girl since she's apparently GROWN!

No luck on the shoes.

However, I saw the opportunity to replace some worn out clothes and, to my horror, came across...

Size 4/5 (Girls) Low-rider jeans! WHAT?! Listen, my little girl doesn't have anything to be low-riding anyway, but why are we doing that to our girls?

There will come a time when sexiness and such is shoved down their throat everywhere they go... can't they just be little girls for right now? They'll never get another chance...

Disgusting.

Rare, Unexpected, Opportunity

You never know what's coming next in life.

My Army career is now at four years plus. I'm in Army Aviation, and I'm trained as a helicopter repairer...

Yet, in my career thus far, I've not flown in an Army helicopter. The ones I work on don't have room for anyone but pilots. (It should be noted that I, like many others I'm sure, would have been MORE than happy to strap onto a wing pylon for a flight, but pesky Army regs... plus, the Safety brief would have taken days and I can only imagine the Risk Assessment!)

My current job incarnation has me being a driver (and pseudo-aide) to my Colonel and Command Sergeant Major (and other VIPs as designated). As such, I tend to go where they go (guess I should be nicknamed "AAFES").

Anyways, there was a large military event being hosted by a local high school. They'd invited all the branches, and the various recruiting commands were lending support. Our school had been asked to see if we could coordinate some helicopters to come by. We have no flyable equipment - it wouldn't be a good school for repairers if it all worked, right? - so we couldn't directly contribute. However, we're good Soldiers, and phone calls were made, and helicopters arranged.

Amazingly enough, all the paperwork went through, and no one nixed the plan. On Tuesday, I drove the survey team out to the location. Not a large landing area, but it'd be directly in front of the high school. The kids would love it. At the time, we thought the COL might come out, but when I asked him, he said he probably would not, as he wasn't expected to speak, and besides... he is very busy.

Wednesday, I was sick. Hospitalized briefly. Bad. Ugh. But, over it, and ok now.

Went to work on Thursday, expecting another routine day. Picked up the daily calendar and began the brief with the executive secretary. Observed that within the hour, it was listed as "Flight to Jamestown HS".

Flight?

Eh?

F-l-i-g-h-t???

See, our Colonel is retiring soon, and I guess he'd chewed it over, and decided he'd like one last flight in an Army helicopter. As it happened, we would be using the General's bird, a UH-1 "Huey" (rent any Vietnam flick, and you'll see it... it's the one all the Soldiers are leaping out of... see "We Were Soldiers"), and he'd flown it once upon a time...

So, I quickly map out the day, plan the logistics of the schedule, and quickly find myself at the airfield.

For today would be special... it'd be the Colonel's last flight in Army Aviation... and my first!

We had a pilot assigned, a crew chief, and for the passengers, it was the Colonel (in the Copilot seat up front) and the Command Sergeant Major and the Specialist in the back.

Doors open... we take off. Smooth as silk.

Beginning altitude of 500 feet, climbing to 1500. A little over 120 MPH. I'm having a BLAST.

My duty for the mission is to photograph the Colonel. As many pics as possible. I can't help but look out the window, and just enjoy it. The air as we cruise through the air, and the breeze coming from the giant ceiling fan up top... and being able to just lean out into the slipstream... The doors are open, I'm held in by all of one single seatbelt (with an amazingly minor latch)... and I'm not afraid a bit.

On the return flight, I even toyed with just dangling my feet out the door. Was an amazing rush.

And I can't thank my Command too much. It was an honor and a priviledge to go flying, and to participate in the Colonel's final flight (and wetting down).

Below are pictures of me preparing to fly (the photographer is the CSM) and our "Last Flight/First Flight" photo. Who has the bigger smile?

In the Company of...

A friend sent me a link. I went to check and was shocked. It seems to be a nice project, and... I couldn't believe I was among those pictured.

It feels so strange to be in the company of these heroes... I guess I still have problems resolving in my head where my life has taken me.

But, am honored, and proud. And when I look at that particular picture, the memories come back in a flood.

Thank you, friend.

Trying to Explain What I See

On a recent flight, I found myself staring out the window... entranced as usual, and lost in the wonder.

Suddenly, I found these words flowing into my head. As is usually true when I write, there is no rough draft, it just flows to me.

I haven't developed a title yet, but here is what came to me:

This is where I come to pray
When too oft my soul has bled;
Where Angels like to fingerpaint
And mortals fear to tread.

The Temple is so endlessly vast,
There are no walls to see -
Yet there arise many rooms,
Some as small as me.

I do not reach out to touch
The face that belongs to Him,
For the Peace I feel here is so clear,
Even as the world feels very dim.

Few tend to take the time to see
This Heavenly Temple just above;
Our lives in which we self absorb
Bereft of this endless Love.

For when we climb into the Temple
Casting off the fears from below
Is when we see through His eye
Amazing Beauty we'd ne'er know.

The Temple is where the Angels gather
And unleash their creative flow -
Brushing playfully through the sky with clouds
Or at times a lone rainbow.

Here in this place so Holy
My soul relearns to soar
Lift'd aloft on an Eagle's wing
Wounds Healed; Bleeding no more.

This is where I come to pray
When my soul yearns to cry
Of Pain! Of Joy! It's here I pray...
In these Cathedrals of the Sky.

(c) 2007


As I said, title still in works. But, this is what I see. And how I feel about flying. It's where I feel most at peace in the world.

(Comments and critique invited. Curious what y'all think. Thank you for reading.)

Happy Birthday, Ellicia

I've just returned from spending Ellicia's birthday with her. Her birthday was 02 May. She'd have been 40. We'd always hoped she'd make it to her birthday, but... it was not to be. And all things considered, (and it's hard to get to where I can say this) it's best that she didn't.

Work was nice. They gave me four days to go spend some time with her. I couldn't go down for her actual birthday, as that would have required using up some of my Leave days. I don't have that many, and there was no way around that. So, had Thursday - Sunday off. (Note: In the Army, you have to "take the weekend off", even if you don't normally work that day, because Soldiers are "always on duty". It's why taking two weeks vacation costs us 14 days and civilians only use 10. So, saving those days is a big deal.)

I scooted first up to Cleveland, hoping to meet with a good friend. Unfortunately, weather caused delays and by the time I arrived in Cleveland, it was nearly 0200. My next set of flights required I be at the airport around 0545, so sleep was minimal. Kind of a wasted stop, but it was worth the try.

Moved on to my flight to Savannah. It's the closest airport to where Ellicia is staying these days (What a view!). But, me being me, and loving flying as I do... a direct flight was out of the question. I flew from CLE -> LAX -> IAH -> SAV. Was fantastic!

The views on my way to LAX were amazing. I even saw a WN (Southwest) airlines jet pass us at 37,000 feet in the opposite direction (do the math... Plane A is travelling eastward at 525 MPH and Plane B is travelling westward at 525 MPH. How much time does Reid have to steal a glance out the window to spot the other plane? Sorry for anyone having SAT flashback nightmares.) We also overflew (naturally) the Rockies. At the altitude, they looked more like wrinkles in the Earth's carpeting.

Spent a couple of hours in LAX, enjoying the scenery. All those beautiful tails were something to see. And then, it was off to IAH. We had to hold a little bit due to some growing storms, but there was a break, and we were able to come in. Some advice for you fliers out there... anytime the pilot comes on and says it will be very bumpy and turbulent landing... listen to her. It's going to be bumpy. Just ask the business guy who didn't put his drink away... hehehe it WAS a nice suit. Anyway, it wasn't too bad, but then, I fly a lot and have been through much worse, but there were some tight, white knuckles for some people as we bumped and dropped through the storm.

Airport closed shortly after we landed. And naturally, people complained. There were solid black clouds moving through the airport area, and at some points, it was impossible to see the other terminals. A Tornado warning was in effect, and these nuts thought that the best thing to do was get into a thin aluminum tube and fly THROUGH it. No thank you... Common sense prevailed. Unfortunately, flights were greatly delayed.

Which leads me to my new experience. Something I'd never experienced before (hence the word "new", eh?)...

I've had aborted take-offs. I've had aborted landings. Even inflight emergencies (engine on fire anyone?)... but, I've never had a combination. My flight out of IAH started off normally, though about five hours late. I'm sitting at the front, and as we start rolling, I can hear all the alarms start pinging, whooping, etc. We continue accelerating and I can tell we're getting close to V1 (decision point... go/no-go). Suddenly, the pilots decide. No-go. And folks, routinely you don't get to experience the full braking power of an airliner. We shuddered to a stop. After about 45 seconds, we moved to a taxi-way. And sat. Nothing seemed immediately wrong with the plane, and the pilots just seemed to be "working the problem". What was it? The root problem was that the plane thought a door was open. It wasn't. I could see it was closed from where I was sitting. But. You have to make sure. And BE sure. Triple-checking is ok, too.
Eventually, we decided that we were going to SAV, daggummit, and the plane was fine. So we went back and tried again. I could hear the plane fussing, but we went anyway. And we did fine.
A couple of hours later, we approached SAV. Late. Very late. No biggie. As we complete our approach, I can tell it's not right. First, we stayed higher than normal for longer than normal... then the pilot dived for the glidepath. Which gave us too much speed... and so the pilot tried dumping the airspeed... which we lost too much of. We were now sinking, and going too slowly. I could feel the plane begin to "wallow" and "mush" as the landing began to fall apart. In the back of my mind, I was calculating it all through... looking out the window, thinking... "NOW would be a great time to get out of this approach, Cap'n." We sink a little more, and then... the engines spool up and we shoot out of there. Go around! So, in one flight, an aborted take-off and aborted landing. Too cool. We landed smoothly on the next attempt and all was well.

For those who fear flying, the above is a story of safety. Aborting the take-off and the landing were both examples of the pilots knowing not to push a bad situation. Knowing when to STOP and go try again. Very safe.

Went to Savannah. Drove. Nice hotel. Next day, 04 May, made my way to the cemetary.

First time back since the headstone was placed.

It's a beautiful place, really beautiful. And I tell you, it's a sobering (yet peaceful) thing to see your own name on a tombstone.

I think it's very nice, and it was good to go see Ellicia, again. I talk to her often, but... some of you may understand, and others... maybe you'll never have to. But, it was nice to be with her.

Happy Birthday, Ellicia!

Blue Skies Darkened

In Beaufort, SC, today... at an airshow I've attended many a time... the Blue Angels lost an aircraft. And more importantly, the pilot as well.

For those who fly, and especially those who perform in the business, they know that what the Blue Angels (and others, too, like the Thunderbirds) make look so easy and effortless, is in fact, a dangerous business.

What they do in their acts are no different than the skills used by the pilots in our military everyday.

And yet, accidents do happen. I suspect that whatever happened, most likely a failure in the aircraft, happened so quickly that there was little time to react and save himself, or he sacrificed himself to try to steer the crash away from a crowded area of spectators (if true, he is a hero).

Either way, today a family lost one of their own... and thousands of people who came to be awed by professionals performing feats of flying seemingly incredible were instead given a hard lesson that nothing is flawless all the time. Things go wrong, and tragedy can touch at any time.

I was shocked by this... as I spent the day at the home of the Blue Angels. Never suspecting that today, one wasn't coming home.

Rest in peace, Sir.





(Edit: There's a very moving, and wonderful tribute here.)

Looks Like Fun

Have you seen the new Kia Spectra commercial? The one where they are doing musical chairs, but with cars in a parking lot? It looks like fun. Of course, I would rather do it with a not-so-nice car, just in case someone really wants the spot we're fighting for.

So, anyone want to get together in a parking lot???

Feeling Brain Dead?

Well, my lil' mind is feeling all slushy, so... I think I'll watch a perfect movie. TVLand is showing Weekend at Bernie's.

Ok, first, let's make everyone feel old. The film is 18 years old!

Wow.

I swear I felt a grey hair pop out just typing that.

Since that movie won't require more than two brain cells (one cell holds the stick poking the other one awake)... should be good.

Just Doing Our Job

With many of my Soldiers' Angels, and other wonderful supporters, I have been called a Hero, like many of my fellow Soldiers.

And I've tried to be polite, say "Thank You", and move along. Some though have picked up on the discomfort that often comes with being called "Hero", and asked. My response has been that we're just doing our jobs... and we're proud to do it. Surely, others would do the same in our position.

I've just come across a post over at Tanker Brothers that helps explain it very well. Please take a look... here.

And to all who support us... Thank YOU.

As for whom I call Hero:

She faced cancer and death with more courage and determination than many people I've ever known... combined. I can only hope to live up to her example. Ellicia, you ARE a Hero.

Easter Baskets

What the Easter Bunny left at our house...

Easter Outfits

It's Easter, and that means... Easter Outfits!

Getting both of them to smile at the same time was nigh impossible. (What you don't see are the nearly 30 pictures as I just kept taking pictures, rapid-fire, like a fashion model shoot.)

Please note how adorable they are... and Scanner. He decided not to dress up today.

Thank Goodness the Easter Bunny Has Fur!

It snowed today. 07 April. Tomorrow is Easter. (I can't resist - Beware! Global Warming! Global Warming!)




Ok, seriously... it was a winter wonderland upon awakening. We had planned on an early morning Easter Egg hut, but I felt sure that those were called off.

So, what does one do when you have little kids and there's suprise snow outside?

You go play!





There wasn't a tremendous amount of snow... maybe 1-2", but when your hands are small, it's plenty.





T, M, and I had a great time tossing the snow around. T really enjoyed stomping it flat. He absolutely delighted in it. Big smile. And M was positively squealing in pleasure. (Yes, the grass is starting to show... snow started to melt quickly.)

And, if you have snow, you MUST have a snowman. So, here we go!

AirShows 2007

The Airshow.

There are few things that I find that rival the sheer excitement and joy of being at an airshow.

I am a confessed junkie.

And I haven't even yet attended some of the big ones (Nellis, Edwards, for a start).

However, you'll find these at airports, Naval Air Stations, and Air Force Bases around the country. (For international folks, there are plenty around the world, as well, however my information is limited to the United States. But, the Farnborough, Paris, Berlin, and Dubai airshows are top-notch.)

Most people can associate one of only two teams with an airshow - the world class, above the best, superb United States Air Force Thunderbirds and the Navy's group called... um... Blue Angels.

However, it should be noted that they are not the only ones. If you're lucky, you may come across the Snowbirds, Canada's contribution. There are the private acts, like Patty Wagstaff. She's an acrobatic flier and what she makes an airplane do is stunning (and speaking of stunning... men, first you get to watch an amazing acrobatic act, and then out of the cockpit steps a stunning pilot!)

I'd be remiss if I didn't mention the Golden Knights. The US Army demonstrates parachute precision. Usually, these folks will open an airshow by presenting the colors - via parachute.

Maybe you'll have an opportunity to see Sky Soldiers, a helicopter demonstration team.

Don't like airplanes? Well, I'm surprised you've read this far. And I'll reserve my other comments about you, too. But, there's something for you at an airshow. Check out Shockwave. What's Shockwave? Shockwave, my friends, is a big rig truck... powered by a jet engine. Ever seen a truck do 300 mph?

So, find your closest airshow. Need a reference? You can click here for a full schedule.

Go, take the kids, and have fun. It'll be an experience you'll enjoy.

Milk Run

I'd like to encourage you to take a peek at an article that has appeared in one of my favorite magazines, Air & Space Smithsonian.

This article is instructive in one of life's basic truths - listen to the voice in your head and never feel rushed when you know something's not right. However, it's done in a very enjoyable way.

So, please, take a peek over here.

Even if you have no idea what aisle of the hardware store has the rotor wash, you'll still enjoy this article.

Happy Sobbing

Recently watched the House episode - "Fetal Position". If you don't watch House, well you're missing some good TV. E&I loved it. I'm happy I'm able to start watching it again.

Anyway, first off, this episode had Anne Ramsay guest starred. I've watched her in quite a few pieces, but I have truly fallen for her (as a fan, sheesh) in Mad About You. Now, there's a fine, fine TV show. Can't get enough of it... nor Helen Hunt. Thumpa-thumpa... wow, she is quite the actress... and not a day's gone by that I wouldn't have loved to be Paul Buchman... or Paul Reiser!

Annnnyway.

This episode was just another delightful House episode, but there's a part where Dr. House, who's steadfastly refused to call an in utero baby anything but "fetus", is doing surgery on the baby in the womb. And those little fingers reach out and grasp Dr. House's hand. (No doubt, it was inspired by this image from a doctor performing surgery on a 21-week baby...)

Tears started flowing.

Just touched me. I can remember melting into puddles each time I'd see my children wiggling on an ultrasound. See, I know there's life in there. Can't see the ultrasound, or have a baby respond to you, and not. E&I, for instance, discovered that Thomas had quite a thing for Gregorian Chants while he was still in the womb. (We were in Paris, in Notre Dame cathedral, and there was a choir in the cathedral singing Gregorian Chants - an awe-inspiring experience, I tell you. Magical, actually... and T was enthralled. Ellicia liked it, too, if you must know. :) )

Dr. House's "conversion" is nice, of course... as he now refers to the baby as "baby". And, there is a nice scene at the end where we see the mother holding her baby.

Very touching.

Think I'll watch again.

Can't Get Enough of That Army Strong

The music of it really strikes a chord (no pun intended) with me. Forget the ad messages, or narration... I can just listen to that music. It's SO motivating.

Wow.

A Butterfly

A friend... Debey (Gold Star Mom), sent this to me.


Thank you

This helps.

And for those of you who are really close to the nest... you'll see why.

Please, take a look... and if you happen to be someone who's also grieving a loss, I urge you to... when you're ready.

Click Here

Private Party - You Must Be THIS Tall or Shorter to Attend

This is Thomas' birthday cake for Birthday #2. It's dinosaurs. With volcanoes. And smoke. And primordial ooze. And grass. And brown things that are probably dirt or mud, but looked all the world like dino-doo. :)




Thomas eating HIS cake. Please note the use of a fork. And, interestingly enough, I'm not accustomed to the concept of eating a cake top => down, but... it works. And considering it was buttercream icing, I can see credit for his method.



So let me get this straight... I get cake, AND icing... AND dino toys?! This IS a cool event. And we do this EVERY year? Nice deal.

(The dinos even made roaring noises when you pressed a switch or moved their mouths...)





Once upon a time, long before I was born (according to Daddy, when Marmee was a little girl), the dinosaurs ruled the Earth. One day, the amount of cake was small, and the two great beasts of the forest came together to do battle. Only one would win. Only one would get cake. This was the great battle of all time...

Or, as Thomas would say, "Roar! Roar! Roar!"



(Wish you were here, Leesh. You would have loved this. Think he had a good birthday, though, Sweetheart. And... I know you were here... just differently. * )

Bittersweet

Today is T's SECOND birthday! Yes, our little boy has reached two years old.

When I look at my sweet, adorable little boy, it amazes me how far he's come already. There is a small part of me that will always remember his beginning. He had a very rough start. For us, it was frightening. I recall driving back and forth between hospitals and trying to care for the rest of our family, too. Being scared he wouldn't make it. The joy of first being able to touch him, to hold him. How I instantly loved him. And how happy I was when I was able to see this:



And there's this:

What a kiss!

Sigh.

Tomorrow marks three months since E passed away. T's birthday was one of the milestones we thought we'd make (we were aiming for her birthday - 02 May). Unfortunately, it wasn't meant to be.

Three months. It seems a long time ago. And it was yesterday.

In a fabulous bit of timing, I was able to pick up most of the pictures from the frame shop today. Nice present. These are the pictures that were used at the viewing, so framed, they're quite large. The framer did a fantastic job. The one of E in her wedding gown is gorgeous - impeccable work. And the one of us by the waterfall in Hawai'i came out very well. She balanced the matte colors, frame designs, and the colors in the photos to maximize their stunning images.

I miss her.

I miss that she's not here to help eat T's cake. I miss that we didn't make it to his Birthday. While I know she is watching, and can see what's happening, and how far he's come... I'd love to have the conversation with her. While we remininsce about his life so far, and we dream about what's to come.

I ache for her.

And I'm happy she no longer suffers. And I look forward to when the children are old enough to appreciate her story.

For now, I hold our children. And when it's time to sleep, it's always, "A Kiss from Daddy... a Kiss from Mommy... And remember, Mommy and Daddy Love you."

Two years since T's birth, and three months since E's death. And yet, they're both full of life, in their own ways. T, the growing boy. And E living on, in M, T, and in my Heart.

The Military Child

I first saw this over on WizBang Blog, and I would like to share this with all of you.

I CAN imagine what this would have been like. I believe that most any of us who've been over there have dreamed of our reunions, and what they'll be like.

This isn't a bad way to do it.

(Highly recommend a tissue...)




The son's sobs tear at me... wow.

While I'm at it, April is the Month of the Military Child. Of all the sacrifices that our Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen, Coasties, and yes, even Marines make, they pale in comparison to the sacrifices of those left behind. And our children make sacrifices they don't even know they're making at the time. Likely, the effects of those sacrifices will shape them and resound throughout their lifetimes.

Wow... Oh Wow. For Vietnam Veterans

Please, take a few minutes... turn down the radio/tv, and take a minute to see this video. It's very well done.

Government Living

There are those who seem to wish that the government would enter more and more of our lives.


Somehow, life will be better if the evil, money-grubbing corporations got out of our way, stopped keeping us down ("The Man!"), and we were treated equally by our beloved government agency of choice. Why... the honeypot would flow freely with the delights.

Uh huh.

Enlist. And you'll be introduced to life with the government in every corner of your life.

I'll give you a slice that made my day oh so perky today.

I get a call from the "Child Development Center" (same letters as Community Day Care) that T was suspected of having Pink Eye. This is one of their things that gets you sent home. I had an hour to come and get him.

Once I got him, he would not be readmitted until 1) A Doctor cleared him or 2) he had been taking medication for at least 24 hours.

So, after alerting work that I was basically gone for the day, I went and picked T up.

He looked fine and was in good spirits.

As it was nearly noon, I knew we needed to go ahead and go to the Doctor as soon as possible so the clock on the medicine could start as soon as possible.

I even called ahead. The Pediatric clinic said they couldn't see him; I'd have to take him to the Urgent Care Clinic. I was not allowed to take him to any other facilities (even though this area is crowded with military bases and medical facilities).

So, off to the UCC we went. Checked in. From experience, I noted the time. Quarter after twelve.

Meanwhile, it should be noted that T has not had his nap, and I have minimal entertainment supplies.

He's seen... triaged... very quickly. Then, we return to waiting. There are signs reminding us not to leave without checking out (and risking missing our call). So, we sit. And walk around the clinic. And sit.

We've used up all of our easy games within about the first 15 minutes. I can't let him crawl around on the floor, run wild, or anything else... There's a Soldier leaning over his chair, a spit/vomit bucket on the floor. They change it from time to time as he fills it.

So, I hold him tight. Surprise, he's not wild about this.

We go through various screaming tantrums - during which I like to make sure I'm sitting right by the front desk. I figure if they'd like the screaming to stop, they'll speed things up a bit.

Any one want to wager how long we waited in the "Urgent" Care Clinic?

Noooo, longer than that.

Three hours and forty-five minutes.

3:45 with a child who didn't want to be there, had no nap (though he eventually dozed in my arms), and was also hungry.

And, he did not have Pink Eye. The doctor pronounced him a "very healthy little boy".

Duh.

I knew that, and I didn't have to spend a semester of medical school waiting in the UCC!



The Eventual Care Clinic, aka the Overflow from All Other Clinics Clinic, is horrible. And, I have no choice on whether I can take T (or M) (or me) there when we need to see a doctor.

Effect? Well, I had zero productivity, plus someone filled in for me, plus the doctor could have seen someone else, plus T has a powerful set of lungs on him, so there may be some toddler-induced hearing loss for some folks.

And he doesn't have Pink Eye. I now have a Doctor's note to that effect, so he can return to school.

Oh goodie.

And people wonder why I cringe when I see the CDC is calling.

Very Strange

(Warning: This may be a bit grotesque for some.)







(Edit: There is no picture here... I added this blank space so that anyone who's squeamish doesn't have to read it. 30 March 2007)







Anyway.

Woke up this morning to a rather gruesome discovery. My bed looked like a murder scene. Truly... pillows, sheets, mattress cover were soaked in blood. Soaked through in places.

And not a bit on me.

Not a scratch.

Can NOT figure it out.

Strange, eh?


(Edit: Not allergic to anything. No nosebleed. Not a drop of blood on me. No nicks, no scratches, and the cats were outside all night. Very weird.)

Last Known Picture

While getting the pictures of Thomas, I came across something I didn't know I had. What very well must be the last known picture of Ellicia taken when she was alive. It's timestamped 0940, 27 December. (That's about 30 hours before she died, for those who don't do math.) My mom had arrived, and we were opening those presents.

Ellicia is modelling a new purse that her crazy husband thought might make a great hat, too (tee hee).

I look at the picture and still... just never saw it coming. Should have, I suppose.

Neat feeling? Realizing I'd still not do anything different.

Student Driver

Got home tonight, and usual routine... get the kids in, get the mail, start dinner, blah, blah, blah. Yay.

Well, Thomas was feeling fussy, and since we weren't in any particular hurry, I decided not to fight it. Told him he could bring himself in when he was ready. Meanwhile, I carried a few loads into the house.

Came out, and Thomas was no longer in his seat. I looked around... no Thomas. Hmmm... where'd he go?!

Then, I looked. Thomas decided he wasn't ready to go in yet. In fact, he apparently wanted to go cruising for babes.

He was having a BALL!!! Played with the lights (they chime since the key was out, so the battery wouldn't run down)... the horn... made Vroom, vroom noises (sort of), fiddling with the radio... he can even open and close the big driver door by himself (that has it's own fear). Was even trying to buckle up for safety.

Luckily for him, this van comes with adjustable pedals... though, I don't think they adjust quite that far.

Sorry about the quality of the pictures... I was wishing my camera had finished charging, but didn't want to miss the chance. Realized my cellphone takes pictures. Don't worry, my camera makes lousy phone calls.

So, now... mothers... lock up your daughters... he's going to be cruising around soon!

New License Plates

My new license plates arrived. Finally. They've been wandering around the Southeastern United States for nearly two months.

They are Virginia's Breast Cancer plates, with a portion of the license plate tax donated to Virginia Breast Cancer Foundation.

Amazingly enough, no one had the particular combination of letters...

And so, now on the van...

Elizabeth Edwards

My Heart goes out to her and the Edwards family. Mrs. Edwards has not only just been given her death sentence, but she had to receive it in front of the whole world.

I will never, ever, forget the day that Ellicia and I received our news that the cancer we thought we'd beaten was back... and it was going to kill her.

We sat in the car and openly bawled, both of us. It was the day they told us about how it'd spread, and there were all the tumors in her brain, and in her lungs. And we'd done enough research to know... that when it comes back, and it spreads like that, it's just a matter of how long, but the outcome is not going to change.

Mrs. Edwards has been told it's in her bones. That's the surest form to kill you. She has probably been given a time frame... maybe a couple of years, but... it came back, and it came back to her bones. Has it spread elsewhere - maybe somewhere not yet detected? She may not have so long.

And she's going to fight. Good for her, but I'm sure she's also learning how fighting the first time reduces your weapons to fight with the second time.

She's learned she's not going to grow old with John (Do you know his middle name?). Should he succeed in his quest for the Presidency, she'll either be too sick or no longer around. She's not going to see her children grow up. She won't see her daughters walk down the aisle, graduate, grandchildren...

It's Stage IV... metastatic... terminal.

One of the biggest challenges with that news is to have hope, still. And to balance hope with reality. To face what's coming.

I am surprised, to be sure, that Mr. Edwards has not suspended his campaign. I won't make it a politcal comment, but I will say that if it were me (wait, it was), he should spend every second with his family. Mrs. Edwards is going to get weaker. It's in her bones. Everything is going to be harder, even looking in the mirror and being reminded that it's not going to get better.

Taking care of the children.

Helping her dress.

Helping her use the bathroom.

Bathing.

Holding her hand.

Planning for the future and for the lack of it.

Talking.

Sharing.

Being scared together.

Fighting together.

Hoping, praying... begging together.



Mr. and Mrs. Edwards... my Heart goes to you. There are no magic words, no super advice here. What you're facing together is the hardest thing you'll ever face, and hopefully, you're strong enough to help each other through it.

Mr. Edwards... John. Hold your wife. Love her. Leave her with no doubt of your love for her. It's ok to be scared. Terrified. Angry... hell, flat out PISSED OFF that the cancer came back! Research, ask your doctors, ask more doctors... as long as you can, don't give up hope.

Prepare for what's coming, though. Be honest with each other.

Mrs. Edwards - you're going through one of the greatest tragedies, publicly. (We know what that's like, even if our stage was just a tad bit smaller.) You're going to need and will likely have more courage than most of us can ever conjure. You'll go through each day, trying to make it a normal day, wanting to treasure each moment with your children, with John.

Each new weakness, each cough, every time something gets harder to do... it will be a slap in the face, a reminder that Death is coming. For you.

Sooner than we ever planned.

Don't give up the hope... keep fighting... Draw strength from John, and be amazed that he's drawing strength from your courage.

Write to your children. Take pictures. Do anything special you've always wanted to do. Do it now.


We always realized that one of the scariest things was to know that there was a clock counting down, the sands pouring through the glass, and we couldn't see what was left.


I'm sorry. I wish you luck. I wish you strength, courage, and Love.

Availed Myself of a Babysitter

I took myself to dinner tonight. Break from the kids, if nothing else.

Babysitter came over (young college student - just turned 21!). I changed to something simple, and left...

Went to Red Lobster. Why not? Good food, steak and shrimp...

Brought along a book for company. (The Fair Tax Book by Neal Boortz and Congressman John Linder, if you must know... good read - finished it).

Was seated at a small, single booth.

Felt very lonely.

No conversation... though, I must say, there were quite a few times when I would pause, look up, across the table, and I could just "see" Ellicia sitting there smiling back, with her head cocked just so... eyes twinkling.

Quiet dinner...


(Well, almost... there were a couple of cell phones (why is it that the more obnoxious and loud the ringtone is, the deeper and under more archaeologic layers the cell phone is in the purse?)... some loud families (hey, *I* was paying for a babysitter... support your local young adult!)... and the guy behind me couldn't sit still, shifting the booth constantly... but, I didn't really care... just enjoyed my dinner, my book, and from time to time, stared across the table.)

Good dinner.

All the Mommies Say, "Awwww...."

I was relaxing, fighting off the sleep monster. I could tell he was nearby. His heavy growl sounding like the sawing of hundreds of logs. He was coming for me.

And then, I thought I heard a cry. Yes, sounds like another nightmare from the kids. While I hate that they have nightmares (shouldn't I be the only one?), it does give me a chance to be SuperDad... to feel like I'm doing something. To calm them, reassure them, chase the frightening monster away... to tell them it's ok, and Mommy and Daddy still love them (it's ALWAYS "Mommy and Daddy Love You" at nighttime).

I go in to their room which, due to the lateness of the hour and the unconsciousness of the inhabitants, for once does not look like a mini-warzone. M is asleep. Soundly. It wasn't her.

T. I go over there, and he's still, but I can tell he's somewhat awake. Deep breathing, but flickering of eyelids. I kneel down, caress him, stroke his forehead and cheek. My right forearm is next to him, allowing me to balance as I lean towards him (he's on the far side of his bed).

He rolls over, grabs my arm, and cuddles in tight. I'd move, but my melting heart is having trouble pumping enough blood. I kiss him, stroke his cheek some more, and massage his spine... he smiles, flickers his eyes, and his breathing gets deeper. I remind him that Mommy and Daddy love him... more smile...squeeze and pull closer on the arm.

I take his bear, Friend, and move it closer... Dads are great, but... Friend is Friend. He grabs Friend, albeit with a strong chokehold, and rolls over. I re-tuck him in... smile to E, and leave.

Such a good boy. I think I'll go ahead and buy him his first car now.

Made Me Smile

As a general rule, I've tended to avoid posting about the kids. All sorts of various reasons, and it has worked (for the most part) up until now.

Of course, half the family now being gone, I can either post about me or... um... maybe share some of what the kids are doing.

Well, tonight, Thomas got me to smiling. He was helping me cook, in his own special way - mostly being underfoot. He was having such a good time, I didn't want to fuss at him for being in the kitchen.

Being the curious little boy that he is, he likes to check out the cabinets, drawers, and last night... the dispensers on the fridge. He tapped the water dispenser, and would you believe? It works!

Made a nice puddle on the floor. Thomas looks at me, points down, and says, "Uh oh." Stares at it. And before I can do anything (or say anything), he scurries away. I'm curious, and dinner isn't doing anything, so I watch what he's up to. He goes into the dining room, climbs up on the chairs, reaches for the roll of paper towels I keep there, rips off one sheet (clean tear, too), brings it back, wipes up the water, and puts the wet towel into the trash can.

Wow. I was so proud of him. Such a good little boy! And so clean minded... and wanting to help.

Precious.

I smiled. And told Ellicia... Sure she's proud.

Army Strong

Does anyone know where I can get downloads of the Army Strong theme? I find it so moving and motivating.