What a joy to walk in to her room today! She was sitting up, wearing glasses, and smiling.
Wow.
I took her a can of soup (Campbell's Healthy Meal Chicken Noodle)and she had about half.
I saw she'd even been reading a little.
What a joy...
And then, it all came back. The headaches, the nausea, and yes, even the chicken noodle soup. I had to leave minutes after she'd vomited because I was out of time (as it was, I was still late picking M up from school).
These weekday schedules are rough. I feel like I barely get any time to see E, and I KNOW she wants more. But with the drive taking an hour+ each direction (I've driven over 700 kilometers (um, about 437 miles) in the last four days just for visits), and the schedules of the kids, plus other appointments, and contractors for the apartments, and... and... and...
It's just tiring. And it pains me to see her face as I leave. I HATE this.
Lump is smaller. Good news. Hair is disappearing (noticing it in the lesser known spots right now... like arm, chin, toes, etc.).
I hope to bring her home soon.
Going to go to bed now. A bit depressed. I miss my wife. I miss my kids. And I'm not even deployed.
I don't know what else I can do for E... :( :( :(
5 comments:
It's like being a parent. You do all you can and hope for the best. When it doesn't turn out so well, you wonder what else you could have done, and you acknowledge to yourself, "I did the best I could at that time with what I had."
You have done it all. Women are admonished not to try to be Supermom; you can't be Superman either. Besides, you don't have a red cape, do you?
You are doing an awesome job as it is. That's a ton of driving, for sure. I wish there was a way to help from all the way over here.
You, Ellicia, and your children are in my prayers. I surely wish there was more I/we could do but we are so far away. I will pray for her and all of you and hope that God brings you what you need during what surely is a very rough time. All I can say is Charlie Mike because your wife and kids need you very much.
I'll bet you're lookin' around for that red cape. Your mom is right, you AREN'T Superman. You're doing a fantastic job & all you can do is all you can do. Try not to put pressure on yourself. Hope you awake feeling refreshed and ready for whatever comes next. Take care of yourself, so that you can take care of your family. My best to all, Katy
You are doing what is humanly possible - juggling all of that sounds impossible, so I think you are amazing!
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