Oh My Goodness

Woke up this morning, and during the usual morning routine of waking the kids, showering, and all the other stuff, I did a quick check of the e-mail.

And almost had a heart attack.

There, in the e-mail, were over $4,000 in donations! And I'd only been asleep for four hours...

I knew the auction had started, but these weren't from the auction. It's not supposed to finish until the end of the week.

What I've gathered is that Mr. Hugh Hewitt mentioned our story on his nationally syndicated radio talk show.

People listening to over 70 stations around the country heard him. And he then posted something about us on his blog.

Oh wow.

Oh my.

This is beyond any of our expectations, hopes, or dreams.

Thank you, Mr. Hewitt!

Auction Underway

Andrea Shea-King and Mark Vance, who broadcast Constitutional Public Radio, have launched an eBay auction for our benefit.

LTC Robert "Buzz" Patterson has kindly donated three of his books (Reckless Disregard, Dereliction of Duty, and War Crimes) to be awarded to the highest bidder. He has said he'll personalize each one and autograph it. I am intensely jealous of whomever is the lucky winner, as this is quite a wonderful prize.

(And to LTC Patterson: Sir, thank you, Sir!)

We cannot begin to thank Andrea, Mark, and her wonderful following at CPR. Ever since she begain mentioning us on her radio show, we've been receiving donations in the mail from listeners in her area. And now, they've gone to such work for this superb auction.

But, they're not the only ones. I'd like to call your attention to the following blogs and websites who are also supporting the auction and helping to spread the word.


Aisch (Aisch is the name of a river that runs through Bavaria)

Anna

Anna at a Rose By Any Other Name

Army Wife Toddler Mom

A Swift Kick and a Band-Aid

Blackfive (Home of "The Blog of War")

Brainster

Castle Argghhh

Common Sense in America

Degree of Madness

Gawfer2001 (Also special thanks for your telephone calls.)

Hillary Needs a Vacation

Hugh Hewitt (Yes, That Hugh Hewitt!) Also, here. Mr. Hewitt has also mentioned us TWICE on his nationally syndicated radio show.

Kasee267

Liberty or Death

Life at the Dust Bunny Ranch

Lonestar Pundit

Marathon Pundit

Milblogging

Milblogs

My Life as a Military Spouse

Op-For

Pam at BlogmeisterUSA

The Right Place

Screw Loose Change

Semper Gratus (Also known as Gunn Nut!)

Soldiers Angels - Holly Aho (Longtime Angel for us, thanks Holly)

Soldiers Angels - Kathi

Some Soldiers Mom (Carla had said she was shutting down her blog, but she's still posting for us. Thank you!)

State of Nature

Tanker Brothers (Home of the Rolling Victory Fast)

Third Wave Dave (Also, serving as Auction Command Post)

Truth Laid Bear

Unconsidered Triffles

Warm and Fuzzy Conserva-puppies

Web of Support (The amazing PJ!)

Wizbang

Yankee Mom


Also, we'd like to thank WCBD-TV2 in Charleston, SC for covering the auction.

Thank you to everyone...

Our Cat, the Hooker

There are so many various thoughts running through my head, so many potential topics to write about...

But, I think one that stands out is my cat.

Scanner.




Scanner is a multi-dimensional cat. At one level, he has a self-image of being a snow leopard, quite possibly trapped in a housecat's body. At another, he is the very embodiement of Sloth. And finally, and there's no nice way to put this, he's a prostitute for being pet.

It's that last part that I'll touch on for now. Today, as with many days, he demonstrated this quality. Apparently, he has determined the school schedule for all of the neighborhood children. He knows the route they'll take coming home. And he knows who gives good petting and who does not.

In front of our house, across the street, is a stair that goes down the hill (a few hundred feet) to the school area. He positioned himself, strategically, at the top of those stairs. Any child (preferable young girls, judging by how he reacts) coming up the stairs MUST pass him by. And he knows... he knows to whom he should stretch out and gaze longingly towards while offering up a tantalizingly furbound tender tummy... and whom to ignore as he enjoys the sunbeam.

He's quite something to watch in action. Apparently, the endless doting and showers of affection he receives here are not quite sufficient to his needs. The sad part is that the top of the stairs is not his only place. He also has the Street Corner, where during different parts of the day when his favored children are in school, he targets the sweet elderly ladies out on their strolls. And he knows, too, which ones are worth his time.

When the snow leopard is not out hunting and chasing small prey, and Sloth is not recuperating from the strenous napping he's forced to endure, he is out on the street... waiting, and hoping that his usual customers come along. Dignity need not interfere with the quest of a good belly-rub.

Army Watching Blogs

The Army has created a unit who's purpose is to read and surf the websites and blogs, especially Milblogs out there.

Why? To look for possible examples of OPSEC (Operational Security) violations. As anyone who has seen the AFN ads often enough will tell you, you can learn a lot by pieceing together small, unrelated facts to form a big picture.

Here's the release about the new unit.

And another worth reading? Blackfive, as always.

I'll admit that this freaked me out, a tad. While I believe I've been very well behaved on this blog, not revealing secrets, and staying within the UCMJ in reference to respect to superior authorities, it was unnerving. Especially with this one coincidence - the story came out the same day my blog readership spiked. Over doubled. And when I dug into the stats, most of the addresses of the folks reading the blog were from places like army.mil, pentagon.mil, andrewsairforcebase.mil, navy.mil, etc., etc., etc. YIKES! That's a lot of attention, military attention, for my little corner of the world. And then, I dug further. Apparently, that day's issue of "Stand To" had my blog listed under the "What's Being Said in Blogs" section. Apparently, they have quite the readership.

So, there are no Black Helicopters circling around the Eye of the Storm, and all is well.

And in case there's any doubt...




GO ARMY!

Was It Something I Said?

Wow... so many at one time. Bout gave me a Heart Attack. I am just surprised... small-time blogger like me. Wow.

Thanks for dropping by. Y'all come back now, ya hear?

Army Commendation Medal

The unit apparently finally found my award. First Sergeant has told me since I was downrange that I was receiving an award. (I know, I know, everyone gets awards downrange...) There may be plenty of people out there with five or six rows on their salad bars, but I'm proud of my award.

Why? I know I earned it. As do so many downrange, and unfortunately, many don't get the proper recognition. Bronze Stars are handed out for those in Senior positions, and the perception is that it's just because they have the higher rank. And then, for the junior folks, there is usually a choice between the Army Commendation Medal (ARCOM), Army Achievement Medal (AAM), Certificate of Appreciation (COA), or nothing. Thus, it makes the medal some sort of unofficial rating system: Screw up, you get nothing. Barely get by, but don't get in trouble? COA. Adequate? AAM. Excel? ARCOM.

And why am I so happy to finally receive it? Well, because there was no record of it. And as everyone knows, if it's not written down, it doesn't exist. Plus, ARCOMs count towards promotion points, and I'm happy for every few points I can get.

So, it has arrived. The presentation ceremony was essentially one of the PFCs in the office saying, "Hey, your award was found. Here." No matter. Yippee!

Army Strong - More Thoughts from Tanker Brothers

I can't believe I missed this post, but... I did. It happens. Anyway, it was quite a pleasure to read this post over at Tanker Brothers. Maybe because I once was one of those brand-new Soldiers walking around Ft. Knox, beaming with pride that I'd completed Army Basic Training at FORT KNOX!

Lots of memories from that time, from the feeling of coming back on that last ruckmarch (and being at the front keeping a good pace) to scanning the crowd during graduation to giving M her first ride on a swingset. And perhaps one of the coolest memories? Wearing the same uniform as my father. Even though he was retired, he pulled the uniform out to wear to graduation... ok, so he seriously outranked me, but my heart was about to burst right out of my chest as the two of us walked around, both in uniform. It was definitely My Turn.

So, anyway, go look at the Army Strong post.

Loss of a Great Blog

Some Soldier's Mom is ceasing her blogging efforts.

You know you've read her, either at her blog (Tiptoe Through The Archives Here), in comments on other blogs, or even in Blog of War.

She's been an excellent blogger and her entries have certainly been worth reading.

We hope that while she may not be blogging anymore, that she won't stay too far from the keyboard.

And when you stop by to say good-bye, say a prayer for her friend Stacy's son, Michael.

Where, Oh Where, Has That Little Form Gone?

Where, oh where, might it be?

Still waiting for my paperwork to go through so I can receive my orders and start working on transitioning us to the States.

I suppose it's making it's way... It's restarted it's path. I'd submitted it last week, and fully expected it to be delayed due to the four day holiday (Glorious Columbus Day). Had a meeting scheduled on Wednesday, with the entire Chain of Command. Immediately prior, some of my (former) co-workers in the personnel office handed me some forms. Included was... my reassignment request! The original, not a copy, but the very original.

Apparently, it had left the office and made it's way up the chain, and along the way, some clerk had put it in the wrong slot, and it came right back down. So, after a week plus, there it was, in my hot little hands.

So, it's been resubmitted, and this time, the Command is bypassing ALL of the regular channels to ensure that doesn't happen again.

Until it's processed, there are no orders. And in the Army, without orders, no one will talk to you about anything (it's a good policy, otherwise a lot of people would waste time on whims and dreams).

So, fingers crossed... entering another weekend... hopefully soon, so I can start getting busy. In a holding pattern for now.

Chandler, AZ

Congratulations to our recent visitor from Chandler, Arizona! You are #25,000.

As part of your prize package, you are entitled to free membership to this blog for one full, preceding year.

Thank you for stopping by!!!

So, care to tell us a little about yourself?

Birth of a New Blog

One of my closest friends has started his own blog, Crew of Chaos. I've known him for sixteen years (oh my... has it been so long?) and some have described him as my Evil Twin.

I'd say that while he is certainly my Evil Twin, he's also used his powers for the forces of good, being a great friend throughout the many adventures (and dull spots in between) I've had so far in life.

You'll find him remarkably coherent with a full vocabulary, for a Marine.

Please, take some time, give him some encouragement, and let's watch the birth of a blog. Sure, it may not be as colorful or scientific as watching the birth of galaxies through the Hubble Space Telescope, but... aw, shucks... take a gander.

Welcome to the blogosphere, David. Now, no pressure...

Blog of War

SGT Hook has a nice posting detailing where you can find more of the wonderful authors you're enjoying reading in Blog of War by Blackfive. (You are reading it, correct? Of course you are!)

AAFES Gas Prices

Stars and Stripes has an article in the 11 October European edition discussing how AAFES is grossing 90 cents per gallon of gas sold in Europe.

Apparently this is greatly more than the profit it has in the United States.

Interesting note: The AAFES spokesman refused to discuss the comparison saying that comparing European prices and United States prices of AAFES gas would be apples and oranges. This is even though European gas prices are based upon a comparison of... United States gas prices.

Anyway, it's an interesting article and sheds more light on AAFES' price disparities for gasoline.

Here's the article below... from Stars and Stripes:

AAFES' gas profits in Europe higher than in U.S.
But spokesman says comparison is 'apples to oranges'

By Matt Millham, Stars and Stripes
European edition, Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Army and Air Force Exchange Service gas stations in Europe made a gross profit of 84.9 cents on each gallon of gas sold in Europe compared with 13.9 cents a gallon in the States in 2005, according to figures provided to Stars and Stripes by AAFES.

The huge difference in gross profit is a result of AAFES’ pricing policies, which are set monthly by the exchange’s military board of directors, according to Judd Anstey, an AAFES spokesman. Anstey declined a Stripes’ query for net profit figures, which would show AAFES’ total earnings from gas sales, writing in an e-mail that comparing AAFES’ profits in Europe to its profits in the U.S. is an “apples to oranges” comparison.

“That just seems ridiculous,” said Spc. Maggie Hearn, when told that AAFES makes a gross profit of 84.9 cents on each gallon of gas it sells in Europe. Hearn just returned from Iraq, as she prepared to get in a cab outside Kelley Barracks in Darmstadt, Germany, on Oct. 4.

“I think something’s wrong,” said Air Force Master Sgt. David L. Smith, based at Ramstein Air Base, who doesn’t look at the profit comparison as apples and oranges. Smith thought AAFES was taking advantage of its customers in Europe and went so far as to file a Freedom of Information Act request with the exchange.

“I wanted people to know how much the markup was over here compared to what the markup in the States is,” Smith told Stripes.

“My concern wasn’t the cost of gas … it was if AAFES’ markup is applied equitably to AAFES’ stations throughout CONUS and OCONUS,” Smith wrote in a letter to Stripes that was published on Sept. 8. “If AAFES is making approximately the same amount off a gallon of gas overseas vs. stateside, I have no complaints.”

The response Smith got from AAFES proved his suspicions half right: AAFES is making more off gas it sells in Europe. AAFES sold roughly 17.6 million more gallons of gas in the U.S. than it sold in Europe in 2005, but because of the huge difference in gross profits, the agency made more than four times as much in gross profit off its gas sales in Europe.

In 2005, AAFES sold more than 60.2 million gallons of gas in the U.S. compared with 42.6 million gallons sold in Europe. The gross profit from these sales was $36.2 million in Europe and $8.3 million in the U.S., according to figures provided by Anstey.

After paying expenses, about 60 percent of AAFES’ net earnings went to Morale, Welfare and Recreation programs in 2005, according to figures on AAFES’ Web site. The rest of the earnings went to build and renovate stores, according to Anstey.

AAFES doesn’t have a set markup at either its U.S. or European pumps, meaning that its gas pricing policy doesn’t take profit into account, Anstey said.

Instead, AAFES bases its prices in Europe on stateside prices, then adds the cost of doing business overseas. The price changes at the beginning of every month.

“This means that AAFES’ ‘profit’ varies widely from month to month,” Anstey wrote. He continued, “With this said, AAFES’ gross ‘profit’ on gas sold in Europe in 2005 averaged (84.9) cents a gallon.”

Anstey went on to say that in 2005 AAFES made a gross profit of 13.9 cents a gallon in the U.S.

AAFES’ gross profit represents the amount of money taken in before paying expenses, such as the cost of delivering gas, he said. In Germany, for example, the cost of delivering fuel to the customer is 16.6 cents per gallon, according to Anstey. In the U.S., AAFES’ cost of delivering fuel to the customer is 4.4 cents per gallon.

Most of the extra cost of delivering fuel in Europe goes to cover the costs of the coupon program and personnel.

“I can understand why people are questioning why gas is more expensive here than it is in the States,” said Kathy Meadows, an Army spouse, as she gassed up in Darmstadt in mid-September. “Why aren’t their (AAFES) prices the same as stateside prices? Stateside prices have federal and state taxes added on,” Meadows said.

This last observation goes a long way toward explaining the disparity in gross profits. AAFES’ formula for setting its pump prices in Europe consists of two parts: average gas prices in the States, and the cost of dispensing gas.

The figures that AAFES uses to determine average stateside prices include local, state and federal taxes. These figures come from the U.S. Department of Energy. Taxes add more than 45 cents to the cost of every gallon of gas sold in the U.S., according to the Tax Foundation, a tax research group based in Washington, D.C.

AAFES doesn’t have to pay taxes on gas sold in Europe, but the 45 cents representing taxes are still represented in AAFES’ European prices. Instead of going to taxes, the 45 cents goes to profit instead.

When asked why AAFES includes those taxes when figuring overseas prices, Anstey said, “Failure to include taxes in select locations would create a disparity between the prices troops find in the states compared to those overseas, but could also produce the unintended consequence of impacting everyone’s (cost of living allowance).”

Currently, the price for a gallon of regular unleaded gas in Germany is $2.60 a gallon. Prices on U.S. military bases in the States earlier this week ranged from $1.97 at Barksdale Air Force Base, La., to $2.33 at Fort Carson, Colo.

“COLA helps maintain purchasing power so you can purchase about the same goods and services overseas as in the United States,” according to the Department of Defense’s Per Diem, Travel and Transportation Allowance Committee Web site.

The cost of gasoline is one of about 120 goods and services taken into consideration when determining COLA rates, according to the committee.

Leading By Example

(National Museum of the United States Army Soldier Registry)

John 16:24

Here is our official family portrait from August (before we knew it was back, before the new treatments, and when we're all very, very happy - "Sack of Son" is still in the middle!).

Reminder About Airport Security

I continue to read complaints and gripes (largely because I frequently surf a flying enthusiasts forum) about the perceived unfairness and excessivess of airline security (i.e. the TSA).

Is it a hassle? Sure, if you don't plan ahead. But, why perchance, do we have it?

Please, take a look here.

Sobering. Be sure to check the link in the first line to read the background story.

Thanks for the Support (Yeah, Right)

With a hat-tip to Best of the Web Today...

Take a gander at the Letters to the Editor of the Los Angeles Times. These are in response to an article about a Marine who died in Iraq.

Marine's wartime acts bring mixed reactions
October 7, 2006


Re "His Corps Value Was Bravery," Column One, Oct. 3

If an individual were to kill 11 people in house-to-house gang warfare in South Los Angeles, we wouldn't call him a hero; we'd call him a bloodthirsty, homicidal maniac. We would fear for the future of our city.

But when it's war, we nominate these individuals for one of the nation's highest honors. We spend several hundred billion dollars to send thousands of our young adults overseas so they can engage in this kind of behavior in someone else's country.

The 11 people we dismiss as insurgents are mourned by their own families, some of whom consider their actions a logical response to a foreign power occupying their land, while others grieve at the senselessness of it all.

The Times has shown its support for the troops, like we're all expected to do. But if Marine Pfc. Christopher Adlesperger had been a street gang member, we would have been subjected to articles explaining how we needed to provide alternatives to murderous organizations that provide a sense of belonging to its members.

T.C. PETERSON
Los Angeles


Reading about Adlesperger's valor, while compelling, left me with an overwhelming sadness. We are apparently hard-wired to kill each other over land or oil or our gods. Imagine what a man with the passion of Adlesperger could have done for his family and for the world in the next 60 years had he lived. I admire his bravery and loyalty to his friends. But I condemn those who required this of him and more than 2,000 of his brothers. I only wish his bravery could have been spent as a firefighter or a police officer, at home, where we need him more than ever.

GEORGE WATERS
Pasadena


I was repulsed by the tone of The Times' article. How dare you glorify the obscenity of killing, with descriptions of gurgling blood. Maybe the so-called Iraqi insurgents are not the enemy but in fact are freedom fighters, valiantly attempting to rid their country of a repugnant foreign presence fighting not for freedom and democracy but for America's insatiable appetite for oil. The United States must end this senseless war, sooner rather than later, and articles like this espousing flag-waving patriotism are only perpetuating the myth that modern war, and this one in particular, can be won.

RUSS RODDERBACK
Las Vegas

Thank you for your support... All of them enjoy the freedom, and right, to express these views because (I can't resist) we are an ARMY STRONG.

New Army Slogan

Well, it's announced now. The new slogan for the Army is:

Army Strong

There'll be all new ads coming out beginning 09 Nov.

We've gone from the classic (and still timeless) "Be All You Can Be", to the never-understood "Army of One" and now, "Army Strong".

I'm curious what y'all think of the new slogan and perhaps some creative ways it could be used in advertising. Before any Code Pink'ers come in, please refrain from anything super obvious like "Army Strong? Army Wrong!"

Opinions? Thoughts?


And if you'd like a sneak peek at one of the commercials, then click here (or even better, right click and download it). We've watched it, and you know what? I'd enlist all over again. It is powerful, motivating, and sends the right message. It is great to see an ad that tries to bring new recruits that also re-affirms the choice for those of us already in. Wow, wow, wow.

Very glad "Army of One" is gone... it was such a horrible slogan and the wrong focus. The Army is never about oneself. It's about the Team, the Unit, the Mission... all things larger than oneself.

How Is Ellicia Doing?

So, how is she doing? Good question.

Well, medically, we'd have to say that we don't know. And, right now, there is no way to know.

We finished radiation treatment on Friday. She received a double dose! There will be no CT scans to check for tumor growth or reduction in the brain tumors for about four to five weeks.

In the meantime? Well, in the meantime we return to our normal cancer doctor to figure out what we do next.

We continue to wait for our reassignment paperwork to go through, and we (meaning I) begin all the prepwork needed to move our little crew back to the States.

Day to day life? Well, she has good days and bad days. She no longer carries anything breakable or sharp as we never know when something will give out. Driving is a long-ago memory now. And, of course, I don't leave her alone with our toddler. For her to get in/out of bed, we like to have me there... just in case.

She can move around alright. Slowly, but deliberately.

She still has her "Brain Freeze" moments. Brain Freeze has now been diagnosed by one of our doctors. Apparently, it's actually mini-seizures in the brain. What happens is that about twice a day, for approximately an hour at a time, she comes to a stop. She really can't concentrate on anything, or think through anything. For example, let's say she's playing solitaire. When the freeze comes, she can no longer figure out where the next card goes. Luckily, we seem to be able to tell when the freeze is coming, so... she'll just take a seat and wait for it to end. Or, if we're driving, then it's pretty easy...

Yes, she's still coherent and can answer basic questions ("Are you ok?", "Brain Freeze?", etc), but...

Her leg is no where near where it used to be, but it could be a lot worse.

Toes are wiggling... maybe that's a good sign.

So, what's with the picture? Well, fortuitously, we had professional pictures done while we were on leave. Here is hers.

She looks a bit different now. The hair is gone. So, of course, is one of the breasts.

Guess what? She's still beautiful. Her infectious smile and twinkle in the eye, that is still there. And she makes me laugh. And I love her.

Freedom Team Salute

Received the following e-mail just now:

The Army recognizes that in this time of war, we are all Soldiers for freedom. We, as Soldiers, respond to the Call to Duty, which binds us to our service and guides our actions as guardians and defenders of freedom. This service would not be possible without a strong support network. Freedom Team Salute recognizes those supporters who make it possible for Soldiers to serve our country. FTS provides all Soldiers - Active Duty, National Guard and Reserve - with the opportunity to recognize and honor our parents, spouses, and employers who make our service possible. FTS additionally recognizes and honors veteran Soldiers of all generations for their legacy of freedom, duty, and honor to our country and for their continued support of the Army mission.

Log on to Freedom Team Salute to nominate your spouse, parent, employer (for RC Soldiers) and a veteran today!

Thank you for what you do for our Army and our nation.

With great respect,

Colonel T. Scott Lloyd
Director, Freedom Team Salute


AKO homepage: https://www.us.army.mil/suite/page/313777
Website: http://www.freedomteamsalute.com
e-mail: freedomteamsalute@hqda.army.mil

Now, this looks like a great idea. All of you around the blogosphere surely know Soldiers who deserve some extra recognition. Not everyone can be a Senior NCO or Officer receiving medals downrange. So, come on readers... let's start those nominations!

Which Country Is It?

A small diversion... or, I am watching the country tracker too closely?

There are at least two country trackers for the blog. What's interesting is that they don't show the same countries.

For example, one shows a recent visit from Gibraltar. The other shows no visit from Gibraltar ever. Which is true? Which system is providing rock solid (tee hee) information?

Togo? Maybe, maybe not.

There might have been a recent visit from China. Then again, there may not.

Oh, what fun.

Rumsfeld

The news seems daily to mention that Representative So-and-so or Senator Whatshisname is calling for Secretary Rumsfeld's resignation.

Strangely, that's all there is.

Just a demand to resign.

So I ask, whom do you want to replace him?

Ah, no one ever asks that question. But, it's a key one. It's always a good rule that if you're going to point out a problem, then you also need to offer a solution.

So, if you think Secretary Rumsfeld needs to go, then who should take his place? That's what I'd like to hear.

Don't think I'll hear that soon, though.

70 Countries!

I wish I could tell which ones were the newest to join our community...

The Foley Scandal

Glad he's gone. Investigate, charge, prosecute as needed. And, as Michelle Malkin covers, anyone who covered up for him needs to step down, too.

This is about doing the right thing, and (listen up, Congress) if that means sacrificing yourself for the greater good, then... that's what you do. You step down.

Disgusting.

Currently Watching...

United 93

Gripping.

Paperwork Submitted

Ok, well, the ball is rolling. Submitted DA 3739 today, requesting Ft. Eustis. As Top told me on the phone, they could have me out of here in a week, but...

Mentioned that we needed to wait a bit on that.

Anyway, paperwork is in.


* - DA 3739 is the form requesting Compassionate Reassignment.

Loss for Words

Mary*Ann and GunnNutt...

We don't know what to say. You are not only taking up an honorable cause such as the Rolling Victory Fast, but the message you posted as part of it...

Y'all, take a look over here.

Thank you...

(Somehow doesn't seem enough.)

TriCare

Ok, well thank you to you researchers out there. Looks like my medical co-pays and out of pocket shouldn't be too bad (perhaps non-existent) with TriCare Prime back in the States.

One item down...

There's a Problem With the Plant!

We knew it was coming. It's expected. And as much as the doctors were worried we'd have a horrible time with the concept of Ellicia losing her hair, we weren't terribly worried. Been there, done that.

So far through the treatment, the hair's held on fairly well. It wasn't growing anymore, but it wasn't falling out. A few days ago, Ellicia began to shed. She was like a kitty cat, sort of... always touching her head, and a few more hairs coming out.

So far, though, it's been staying in.

And this morning, when we got up for breakfast, it was still there. Then I took a nap. And she took a nap. Late in the afternoon, I'm exploring my quiet house, notice she's no longer in bed, and as I walk past the bathroom door, it opens.

Yikes!

Honest to goodness, it looked like she was escaping from a nuclear accident. Apparently, it'd really begun to let go. She had thinned... dramatically.

It was time.

So, off we went to the bathtub, and she got on all fours, and we lathered up her head and shaved away.

She's back to being bald. Quite possibly, this will be permanent, from what we understand from the doctors. However, as we said before, we have always been more concerned with losing her than her hair.

Change Of Plans

I've been saying that our criteria for Stay or Go would always be:

• Life expectancy
• If better care is available elsewhere

We've had a good talk with the doctors at Landstuhl. It was SO refreshing to have a conversation that wasn't in broken English or requiring translators. We must have talked with that doctor for a couple of hours.

And he's given us lots of good information. And more importantly, he's helped us make a decision.

I'm applying for the Compassionate Reassignment.

Is the care better? Well, while the procedures are the same, it's definitely possible that the general nature of the care is better. Plus, we'll have access to clinical trials, and other options.

We're going to try for the Norfolk, Virginia area. Why there? The family's not there, you'll ask. No, but there are many good military cancer docs there, and it's a short distance from DC - home of Walter Reed, Bethesda, the National Institutes of Health, and other good organizations.

What's this mean?

Well, we'll have to move and the European chapter of our life comes to a close (but honestly, it's been over for some time). I'll have to leave the unit and leadership that I love and would eagerly deploy with again (and they're going and I'm not... feel like I'm abandoning them... again).

There'll be a massive pay cut as I lose the COLA pay that we enjoy over here (lately, it's around $700 per month). That's about 1/3 of my take-home pay that we're accustomed to, so there'll be that adjustment.

TriCare in the States is different than TriCare over here. There are no copays and limits overseas... we have been told there are in the States. (Note: If those of you stateside have better info, please share - need to budget.)

Hospice should be available.

New house - have to find an affordable, yet large, single story, accessible home in an expensive area. From my research, my BAH (housing allowance) will be about $1100 per month. Unfortunately, the homes run about $2000 per month (rent) or $300,000 to buy. Sigh. More research needed there.

Going to have to rent vehicles for the time that our beast (ok, our SUV) is in transit. Both sides of the ocean. Wheeeee.

All new appliances...

Ok, rambling now, sort of building a checklist for myself here in this post...

Anyway, that's what we're going to do. And here's the neat part - we will actually need them to DELAY the CR! Normally, these things are highly expedited, but... since we have to coordinate with ongoing treatments, that's not the best move for us...

More news when we have it...

And as always, thank you for your incredible support.

Happy Loss

It came down to the last play for the Gamecocks vs. the #2 team in the country... didn't happen, but still... we were supposed to lose brutally, and we didn't!

Wow.

Go Cocks...

The Game

Not getting the ball for the entire 3rd quarter... that's a bad thing, right?

Some Me Time

It's about 0315... and yes, I'm up.

I actually set the alarm... why? Because AFN is actually carrying the game between Auburn and the Chickens (South Carolina).

Fully expected this to be a slaughter. And I'm a fan! But I am pleasantly enjoying this game...

House is quiet, M is sick a bit, but no biggie. But it's nice and relaxing. I'll be whupped tomorrow, and it's worth it.


GO COCKS!

AAFES Gas Prices in October

Finally, finally... we'll see some relief.

Effective 01 October, the new price for gas in Germany will be $2.72 per gallon.

This is a drop of 54 cents per gallon, and will be in effect for the whole month of October.

Kudos to AAFES, they say they flexed their normal pricing policy which would have reduced the price by 23 cents less. So, in recognition of the plummet that prices in the US are taking, they lowered it further.

Still high, but... whew, finally some relief. As "Stars & Stripes" says, AAFES is finally responding to the yawning gap between their prices and prices in the States.

Farewell to the F-14

The F-14 Tomcat recently took it's ceremonial "last" flight... Read about it at Instapinch.

Well written.

(Plus, it's a good blog in general.)

AAFES Gas

Gas is $1.80 in Missouri.
Gas is $3.26 for the military in Germany.

AAFES difference? $1.46 per gallon.

Country #67

Welcome to Lithuania! Latest country to come by and visit...

More AAFES Ranting

Drudge has an image of a gas station having prices below $2 per gallon.

Current price of the cheapest AAFES gas in Germany? $3.16 per gallon. Want to have an octane level comparable to lowest octane of US? $3.26 per gallon.

Can anyone help AAFES explain this?

For review: AAFES sets gas prices monthly. It's allegedly based upon the Department of Energy's average price of gas for the previous four weeks.

(Note: The DOE average includes taxes - something AAFES promises us we do not pay.)

AAFES then adjusts the price further to compensate for the costs of administering its fuel coupon program and to offset prices on other products (it often uses diapers as an example).

My question is: How can AAFES manage their business? Any gas station in the US changes prices frequently, often several times a day. It's supply and demand at work. How can you manage and plan your business based on hoping that your cost of doing business doesn't fluctuate too much? I'll translate: Right now, AAFES is making a killing because gas prices have dropped yet they are maintaining high costs. Good for them. However, what about when it's the other way around (it has been known to happen)? Can you really ride out a whole month waiting for the opportunity to raise your price to match the cost of business? That's insane!

Eagerly awaiting 01 October so I can start saving money. All of this driving has put a serious dent in the ol' wallet... When Ellicia was in the hospital, I was putting between $80-$100 a day into the gas tank.

But hey, the diapers are cheap...

Extended Again

The 1st Brigade of the 1st Armored Division was recently extended for their tour in Iraq. I feel for these folks and their families.

They were extended last time around! Plus, the Alaskan Stryker Brigade was also recently extended.

Now, repeat after me:
We are not stretched thin.
We are not stretched thin.
We are not stretched thin.

(Hey, it worked for Dorothy...)

Why the latest extension? Because their replacement unit hadn't yet had their minimum 12 months "respite" time.

I don't have the answer. I wish we had a magical answer, but... there must be a better way...

A Column That Should Be On a Blog

In the 26 September 2006 European edition of the "Stars and Stripes", on page 13, you'll find a column that is extremely touching and heart-rending.

I wish I could copy it here, but it's not yet available for that. Click on the link and the whole paper will download... then you can jump to page 13.

I remember this feeling... but, I don't know if I've seen it put so eloquently.

Putting on your belt doesn't look quite the same, yet... so very familiar.

Edit: It's now available, so I'm posting it here. Originally in "Stars and Stripes"

Opinion: My respect for ‘quiet clay’ is loud and clear


By Dr. (Col.) W. Thomas Frank
European edition, Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Editor’s Note: This column appeared Sept. 26 on the Opinion page in the Mideast, European and Pacific editions.

It’s Sunday in Afghanistan.

I was sitting — completing some clerical task or other — when the patient administration clerk stood at the door.

“Sir, mortuary affairs needs a doctor.”

“What?” I replied. “The last place they should need a doctor is mortuary affairs.”

“No, sir. They need a doctor to sign some death certificates.”

Usually on a Sunday, I can finish my work a little early and take some time off in my hooch — watch a movie, read or nap. I was eager to do so now.

I walked to the ER to see if the doc there was busy. If not, he could do this. This is a task that would usually fall upon the ER doc, but I suspected he was engaged. The telltale sound of a chopper outside suggested more business was at hand. The doc in the ER was working on a wounded American soldier.

“All right, I’ll go,” I muttered, an irritated edge in my voice.

The mortuary affairs sergeant picked me up in his white van — unmarked except for a white placard in the window that declared “Mortuary Affairs” for all to see. We drove up the ironically named “Disney Drive” — which is, in fact, named for a dead American soldier rather than for the fairy tale king — until we came to the little plywood hut that is mortuary affairs.

Outside were several stacks of oblong aluminum boxes labeled “head” on one end and “feet” on the other. Inside the building was cool and it had a tiled floor — a distinctly unusual feature for these field buildings. The tile here of course has a purpose. It can be easily washed, and there is a drain in the center.

In the middle of the room were three stretchers on stretcher stands. On each stretcher was a body bag.

“Here you go,” said a soldier who handed me a clipboard with a piece of paper on it. A death certificate.

He walked over to the first bag and, without flourish, unzipped it and pulled it open. Before me lay a young man perhaps 19 or 20. His eyes closed. His uniform in tatters. The flesh of his face and torso seared a brown color but not blackened.

Across his chest and flanks, large patches of flesh hung off in loose swatches. There was a large wound in his lower left leg.

I picked up the clipboard and stared blankly at the form.

“Cause of death.” What was it? That leg wound clearly wasn’t the cause.

I asked the soldier to lift the head of the corpse so I would know if there was any obvious brain injury. No. The head was intact. His mouth and nose were clearly burned, however. The last gulps of air he took into his lungs were on fire. He died of “burns.”

The next bag was unzipped. I stepped back. It was a woman. I hadn’t expected a woman.

Her arms were reaching up in front of her, her fingers having a grasping aspect — as if they were trying to steal back life from the lifeless air around her.

Where her head should have been, there was only a chin. Her uniform blouse was pulled up a bit revealing a regulation brown T-shirt tucked into her trousers.

Her belt, I noted, was exactly like mine. Store-bought, nonissue variety. It was pulled tight — just the way she had done it yesterday morning. Tomorrow someone else would loosen it.

I picked up the clipboard. “Cause of death.” I obviously couldn’t write “head blown off.” I thought for a minute. “Traumatic brain injury.” I first printed, then signed my name.

In the clerk’s office of this girl’s hometown, three pieces of paper would likely summarize her life — a birth certificate, a marriage certificate and a death certificate.

Now the third bag was opened. This soldier looked younger. His face was less altered by death. Aside from a few places where his skin was scorched, his face looked like that of one asleep.

Strange, I thought. He looks a little like me.

Below his neck his uniform was in disarray. His skin was burnt. There was a large defect in his groin where his thigh joined the hip, both legs nearly separated below the knees. “Cause of death — burns.”

I stood back. It was so quiet. A poet once referred to a corpse as “quiet clay.” How odd, I thought when I first read it. How true, I thought, as I looked upon these three dead American soldiers. They never expected to die. Given a choice they would not be dead now.

They, like me, had read each day the names and number of the day’s dead in our newspaper, Stars and Stripes. They, like me, never thought their names would one day appear. They were driving down the road. They never saw the blast. Their vehicle was engulfed in flames. One had died in the explosion — instantly. The other two could not get out before being consumed by the fire. So now there were three dead American soldiers.

They were dealt a bad hand. Today I considered something I had never before given much thought — the fact that I, too, am playing at the same table.

I have six more months of hands to play. Six more months of hands to be dealt. Like me, they too were married. They too expected to return to their lives again. When they pulled their belts tight … they expected to loosen them again. Now someone else will loosen them.

I felt some shame for the frustration that I had expressed before coming here.

The driver took me back to the hospital. The duty physician and a couple of other docs were still working on our fresh casualties in the ER.

I finished my work at my desk without much heart and was surprised when the loudspeaker system announced there would be a fallen comrade ceremony in one hour. The bodies would be flown out today. I hadn’t expected that.

At the appointed time, I joined the commander and the sergeant major and we drove out to the airfield where a C-17 was waiting with the ramp down. The senior officers of the installation stood on the tarmac nearest the airplane, as they always do for these occasions.

All along the road for a mile or so — from mortuary affairs to the airfield — soldiers lined up to pay their respects to the “quiet clay” as it proceeded to the airfield. For these few minutes most, I suspect, were aware that we are all playing at the same table — and every day each of us is dealt a new hand. Soon we were called to attention and then, to the strains of the dead march, the colors passed by and the aluminum boxes were carried past, now draped with flags.

I go to ceremonies like this at least once or twice a week. But today was different. I had seen these soldiers — I knew what was in those boxes.

Usually, once the coffins have been brought up the ramp, we stand at attention on the tarmac, while the generals and a few of those who served with the dead go up the ramp of the airplane and pay respects at the boxes themselves. Today we went into the airplane, too, because two of them were medics.

Each person in the plane walked past the coffins and knelt — most in prayer. I rested my hand on each box and said to myself, “I’m sorry this happened to you.”

Tomorrow, when I cinch my belt, I will think of three dead American soldiers and I will think of my wife and my daughter and of home.

Finally - The Kittens Win

So happy the kittens, er... Carolina Panthers, finally won a game. As with teams named Carolina that play football (see my other favorite team, the Chickens, South Carolina Gamecocks), even a win had to be down to the wire... down to the last seven seconds or so.

Sigh.

But a win is a win, and it's nice to finally have one.

Didn't get to actually see the game (AFN didn't carry it), but was able to follow it via the Internet game services.

Now, next week... well, the Chickens will be devoured like they were served at KFC and the Kittens? Who knows... who knows...

66 Countries

I am stunned. So many visitors from so far away to our little corner of the Net. Curious what brings you by? Did a search for "Afghanistan" (used to be more accurate once upon a time)? Curious, curious...

Where are you from?

Will you be back?

What brought you here?

Ads

I've broken down and added advertising to the blog. I've held out. I always wanted my little corner of the Net to be just my diary and place to share experiences.

But, it's another revenue stream source, and... we need it, so:

Please take a look at the ads you see and from time to time, should you see something interesting, please click on the advertisement. Those advertising will thank you... and so will we.

(I feel so dirty, but... anyway, back to blogging.)

Blog of War

Finished the book, Blog of War, recently. First off, for those that might want to find it at a book store, you can always use the ISBN - 0743294181.

This book really took me home. It's a compilation of dispatches from quite a few of the milblogs that are out there. Quite a few of them are blogs I've visited from time to time.

It's absolutely amazing how detailed their writing is. Yes, it's filled with lots of coarse language and gruesome details, but what else would you expect from what is essentially a collection of personal diaries of combat veterans?

Some of the posts that really grabbed me on one level or another were Saving Specialist Gray and Taking Chance. Very moving... but then, so many of them were.

I could not put this book down. There were parts that were eerie, when I would read an excerpt from a blog that was clearly (to me, anyway) referencing an event that I'd been connected to (in one way or another) and recognizing the link.

I wish I could buy a copy for everyone I know.

Whoops... Shouldn't Have Read That

I was browsing through the archives (not really important why, but was looking for a name) and came across this one.

It's listed as one of the "Fan Favorites" and I've often received compliments on the writing of it, but... to be honest, I haven't read it in a long time.

Wish I hadn't. Not so much because of remembering the death of my buddy... for one, that never really goes away, and it's not something you avoid.

Surprisingly, it was for all the other stuff that came back. Vividly. Just the sense of being in Kandahar and Afghanistan. The shop, the office, the people. Heat, smells, the gravel.

Guess there's a difference between recollecting and casual rememberance.

And I wonder how guys who've really been in the thick of it handle it. Gee, my time in the Stan was fairly tame, all things considered. Lots of things I'd like to forget... lots, but...

And then, while prepping this post, I noticed the date on the old one. Has it really been a year?

Sigh.

More on Landstuhl

Some remarkable events occurred while we were at Landstuhl, though it's such a big hospital, we were completely oblivious to them at the time.

In the maternity ward, the staff used the wonderful tools of the Internet to connect Mother and newborn daughter with the father serving in Kuwait. You can read the story here.

Also, the men of Easy Company, popularlized as the "Band of Brothers" in the HBO miniseries, are touring some sites in Germany. On the 21st, they were in Landstuhl. I so wish we would have had time and the opportunity to meet these trueheroes... And what honorable men they are to take their time to visit our Soldiers today. I visited their website and noticed that they'd even posted a small tribute to our Illesheim pilots who died in the recent training accident.

These men are well and true heroes of our time. May we one day live to uphold their virtues and may we never need men like these again.

Landstuhl Regional Medical Center

Well, we recently returned from a brief pilgrimage to Landstuhl. With the recent drawdowns, it's also now the only hospital around.

It's about a four hour drive from our base, so it takes a bit of a journey to get there.

We went for a couple of reasons. One, to get another set of brain lobes looking at her case. Another, was to be able to discuss her case in full English sentences. Lastly, to integrate her case with the military health knowledge system.

Overall, a successful trip.

More later...

Army Plans to Cut Family Programs

From Stars & Stripes:

Expect more cuts in family support programs, Army warns


By Leo Shane III, Stars and Stripes
European edition, Friday, September 22, 2006



WASHINGTON — Army officials have told base commanders to prepare for even deeper cuts in family support programs and other non-war-related expenses next fiscal year.

In June, the Army announced cuts in base discretionary spending and other non-war expenses to offset unexpected costs associated with military operations in Iraq and Afghanistan. Even after Congress approved supplemental military funding in response, service officials said they would continue to curb spending.

And although the fiscal 2007 defense budget is still being debated in Congress, Army officials already have warned base commanders that they’ll likely face more belt tightening under next year’s budget because of the ongoing combat operations.

“The time of having as much money as bases want for everything they want to do is gone,” said Stephen Oertwig, spokesman for the Army Installation Management Agency. “We don’t know what the exact budget will be, but we know it will be a very austere budget.”

On Thursday, military family advocates warned that further cuts in vital family support programs could jeopardize military readiness by distracting soldiers.

“When families need these programs the most, they shouldn’t be asked to do without,” said Joyce Raezer, director of government relations for the National Military Family Association. “Those soldiers need to know that their families are being taken care of.”

The House Armed Service Committee’s ranking Democrat, Missouri’s Rep. Ike Skelton, said the Army received about $500 million less for base maintenance and programs this year because of the unexpected extra war costs.

Raezer said she’s already heard concerns from military spouses worldwide about the cuts. At Fort Bragg in North Carolina, families have seen cuts in staff at the base child-care facilities. At Fort Campbell in Kentucky, the hours and staff at the Family Readiness Assistance Center have been scaled back.

In Germany, several teen internship programs at Friedberg and Giessen Army facilities were canceled, leaving more than 40 dependents without planned summer jobs.

Raezer said other problems, such as shorter dining hall hours and part-time military spouses losing their on-base jobs, are widespread.

Oertwig said commanders have been open and honest with military families about the potential program cuts, to help them prepare for the changes.

“Our local commanders know what their audience needs, and it’s their job to balance the issues on a tight budget,” he said. “It’s not something that’s being ignored. All of our commanders are doing the best they can to take care of these families.”

House and Senate negotiators are currently finalizing the 2007 Defense budget and are expected to complete their work in the next few days.

A Sad Day in Illesheim

From the "Stars and Stripes" website...


Two soldiers killed in helicopter crash at Grafenwöhr


By Seth Robson, Stars and Stripes
Mideast edition, Thursday, September 21, 2006



September 21 update from The Associated Press:

BERLIN — The U.S. Army on Thursday identified two American soldiers killed in a helicopter crash during a training mission in southern Germany.
Chief Warrant Officer Timothy R. Breneman and Chief Warrant Officer Terry M. Thomas, both of the 1st Armored Division’s 12th Combat Aviation Brigade, were killed in Tuesday night’s crash at the Grafenwöhr Training Area, the Army said.
Breneman, 36, was piloting the AH-64D Apache Longbow, and Thomas, 31, served as the co-pilot gunner.
Thomas died at the scene of the crash, and Breneman died nearly two hours later at the university hospital in Regensburg. The
soldiers’ hometowns were not immediately available.

GRAFENWÖHR, Germany — Two 1st Armored Division soldiers were killed late Tuesday night when their Apache Longbow helicopter crashed in a heavily wooded part of the training area, officials said Wednesday.

The soldiers were assigned to 1st AD’s 12th Combat Aviation Brigade and were based at Illesheim Army Airfield, Germany. Their names were being withheld pending notification of next of kin, 1st Armored Division officials said in a statement issued Wednesday.

Maj. Wayne Marotto, 1st AD’s public affairs officer, said the cause of the crash was under investigation. No other personnel were injured in the accident, he said.

“The Army is a close-knit family and the loss of our own affects all of us. A tragedy of this type is felt by each and every member, but we will pull together to help our own. We wish to express our deepest condolences to the family members of the two pilots,” he said.

“I can assure you the Army will conduct a thorough investigation in the hope something like this will never happen again.”

The 12th CAB has been at Grafenwöhr since Sept. 5 conducting annual aerial gunnery exercises. The training involved Apache crews training on a series of qualification tables to test their ability to engage and destroy targets with the helicopter’s weapons, Marotto said.

“The entire brigade continues to conduct Iron Warrior convoy live-fire training on the ground, but aerial gunnery has been temporarily suspended in light of the aircraft accident,” he said.

Joint Multinational Training Command spokesman Chuck Gordon said the aircraft was training on Grafenwöhr’s Range 301 when the accident happened.

“It went down in the area of ranges 301 and 305,” he said.

JMTC did not have information about where the aircraft began its flight. Aircraft operating in the training area often take off from Grafenwöhr Army Air Field, but helicopters are able to take off and land from many different places in the training area.

JMTC refused a request to visit or photograph the crash site on Wednesday.

“The aircraft went down in heavily wooded terrain within the impact area. It is also heavily ‘dud-ed.’ In other words, there is a great amount of unexploded ordnance from years past training,” Gordon said.

The terrain and ordnance created a delay for rescue crews in getting to the aircraft, Marotto said, but recovery efforts were under way Wednesday.

The helicopter crash is the second accident involving U.S. aircraft in Germany this month.

Last week, an Air Force F-16 fighter jet based at Spangdahlem Air Base crashed while on a training flight in western Germany. The pilot ejected safely.

The pilot in that crash had to ditch his plane after a landing gear malfunction. The aircraft crashed near the village of Oberkeil, the Air Force said. U.S. Air Force officials are investigating.


Rest in Peace, Sirs.

Home

Brought Ellicia home today.

13 days in the hospital. Solitary confinement hell, I have to tell you. She was climbing the walls and threatening to tie the sheets together and climb out the window. She'd have done it, too. Don't blame her.

It's so difficult in a German hospital. Especially for Americans who don't know the language. And the farther from base, and the support center, it's worse.

Her luck, she has it all. Far away, no language, stuck.

Can't watch TV, unless you want to live on CNN International. And since one of her hospital days was 11 September, you can imagine what that was like to watch.

You can read... as long as the drugs and boredom allow you to concentrate...

Word puzzles...

I left her with my iPod... it helps, but like most things becomes tiresome.

Cell phones are verboten, so she has to keep it hidden...

Food? Uh oh... let's not get started on that.

And anyone to talk to? No, not really.

So, after awhile, you've done all of your activities, and you're left alone... waiting for the next soul to walk in who speaks five words of English, craving those five words, desperate for a sixth or seventh.

Waiting for the next too-brief visit from anyone who might come and visit...

And then you stare at the walls, and think.

Not the best in this situation. And after 13 days...



Anyways, we're ecstatic to have her home. Yes, she moves slowly... the right leg is pretty much shot. It supports weight, but she has to move it like a peg leg.

Don't let her handle any breakables...

And she is showing signs of the side-effects of the treatment... Twice a day, she gets what we call "brain freeze", where she's just... gone for an hour or so. She can't concentrate. Not really able to think, so we sit her somewhere and wait for her to "come back".

Don't care. It may seem like I'm now a father of four, but... my friend is home... and I can sleep a bit better.

Now, to keep her here.

Microsoft Access Experts

Hey... if anyone out there is a Microsoft Access expert, I could use a hand... I have enough knowledge to be dangerous, but I need to do a better database than what I have...

Can you help?

Thanks.

Fundraiser

Ok, we have finally received word back from the military. Hospice care is not covered. Which means, any home care we provide Ellicia here will be out of our own pocket.

This is going to be expensive. So, reluctantly, and humbly, we'd like to ask those of you who stop by...

Please help. Anything will be appreciated. Ellicia will likely need home care as her mind shuts down. And she wants to be at home, not in a hospital... home, surrounded by our children.

For more information or questions you may have, please contact me through the blog.

Thank you.

Pro Deo et Patria

Our Chaplain is awesome. She continues to make long drives to see Ellicia, and calls me daily (if I should slip and not call her.)

Turns out, she's Episcopalian. So, when she discovered we're EpiscoLutherans, she made another trip to give Ellicia and I Holy Communion.

It was Ellicia's first experience with a field Holy Communion.

What a wonderful experience... and we're lucky to have a good Chaplain.

Remembering 11 September

I'm sure in the States you couldn't turn on a news channel without each doing their special coverage of the fifth anniversary of the attacks. We watched CNN in the hospital, and one thing noticed was how the commentators just could not stop talking - even over the moments of silence and the National Anthem.

Sadly, apparently they feel a need to remind people what happened on 11 September. Who doesn't know? I'm not talking about those who wish to pretend it didn't happen, or that the government did it, or Bush knew, etc... but who doesn't know that the towers fell, the Pentagon was attacked, and there was another plane that didn't quite make it to the target?

It was interesting to see rare (on network news anyway) footage of the attacks. It's "too difficult" for us to watch, right? More likely, it's necessary for us to watch, but it's easier to forget about 11 September if we don't let anyone be reminded of it.

I encourage looking at this video. It's a different viewpoint than we're used to seeing. It's home camera footage from an apartment a block or so away from the WTC. Like watching Titanic, you know what's coming next, but you watch anyway. You're engrossed... Maybe this time, it won't happen.

Take a look. Yes, it's long, but can't we all spare some time to remember?

Click Here To Go To Video

One Chapter Closed... Another Begins

We changed hospitals today. She has essentially recovered from her mastectomy. Sure, the staples are still there, and every now a little bit of pain (phantom pain, like it's still there.) But, she's doing much better. Why, if it weren't for that trifling matter of a brain tumor here and there... she'd be ready to come home!

But, they are there.

So, it was time to change hospitals. The main hospital in Ansbach, which coincidentally is nice and close to us, is home to a radio-oncologist in whom quite a few people put their faith and hope. He's treated over 30,000 patients, and with any luck, we'll make Ellicia one of his success stories.


They dived right in, too. Started off with making a plastic mask of her head. This is to ensure that her head can be completely mapped. The mapping is needed to the computer will aim the radiation the same way each time.

Each time. The treatment plan currently calls for us starting treatment on Wednesday. She'll receive a treatment every day (except weekends) for a month.

We inquired about treatments such as the "Gamma Knife", however she doesn't qualify. With so many tumors, the only option left is to completely irradiate her head. All of it. Like leftover chicken in the microwave, as we joked about it.

There are potential side-effects. The doctor was quite concerned that she know she'll lose her hair. Pah! We're trying not to lose HER! Other effects are more dramatic. She can lose memory, concentration, and her vision can be affected (though that can be remedied with treatment - apparently the one that is also used for senior citizens with cataracts.)

Not wild about the potential side effects, but... what can we do? We KNOW what the result without treatment is...

So, starting tomorrow, is Baked Leeshy... cook at max power for 90 seconds!

Why Don't We Leave?

The Army is gracious. One of the first questions out of the box of everyone in a command position to us is, "Do you want Compassionate Reassignment?"

What is Compassionate Reassignment? CR is a way to bypass the normal Army channels and procedures on serving a tour. Normally, a Soldier is assigned to a post for a set length of time. CR bypasses those regs and lets a Soldier go back to the States immediately.

CR's are good for 365 days. No more. And there's the rub. Normally, I'd jump at the CR. Back in the States, no more language barriers, no more excess costs, long drives, scarcity of supplies, distance from family, etc.

But, if we use the CR now, then in 365 days, I could be assigned anywhere. Korea, a unit deploying... anywhere. What if we're not done with this battle yet? Too bad.

So, I hold off on pushing the CR button until absolutely needed.

There are other reasons, too. My unit, which is exceptionally supportive, is here.
Our friends are here.
Our doctors are here.
Our home is here.
Our stuff is here.

In short, our life is here. Just as the Army wants you to, when we moved here, we fully integrated ourselves into the area. To move now is quite disruptive.

But... the CR is there... and I'm sure, at some point, I'll push that button and push it hard...

Just not yet.

Update

I'm going to try to post some updates tomorrow... haven't had any luck getting it to work out tonight... going to try to sleep tonight... haven't slept much lately, so... hoping I can.

Thank you ALL for your comments. Y'all are wonderful

Suicide Bombers

On the way to the hospital, Ellicia and I were amusing ourselves with various inanities...

And somehow, we got to female suicide bombers.

You know it's going to be a real problem if they start using a lot of these folks. I mean, a male suicide bomber is only wearing an explosive vest. However, you just know that the women bomber will have to have the matching explosive purse, the matching explosive pumps, and the matching explosive belt. Of course, with any luck, there'll also be the matching explosive earrings. Hahaha.

At the Hospital

Well, we went to the hospital today. It was a long drive. Really. It's an hour and a half trip.

We left late. E stalled a good bit, and so we slept longer than we should have.

Dropped the kids off with my First Sergeant (how cool is that?). Except for M, who started her first day at German Kindergarten. She was quite excited.

Anyway, we went there and checked in. Doc sat us down and we briefed back and forth. He looked absolutely resigned and defeated. Spoke optimistically.

Surgery is Tuesday. It'll be the whole breast, and anything else they see while they're in there.

The biopsy came back positive for the breast tumors, but we pretty much knew that already.

Several tumors in the lungs, a few of them of decent size. They might radiate her chest after they do the surgery.

They're also going to do a slew of tests, since she's in the hospital...


So.

After we chatted and hugged, and I had all her stuff put away, had checked her in with hospital administration (I'm getting good at hospital German), and hooked up all her electronic comfort items (iPod, cell phone...), it was time to leave.

It was a long drive home. I've left her in hospitals before... but this was different. Same as when I came into the house and it felt so empty. It felt like practice instead of just another hospital visit. Practice driving home alone, practice coming back to the empty house, practice being with the kids alone.

Anyway... have a busy day Tuesday. Lots of appointments with Chaplains, the clinic, Army Community Service, Army Emergency Relief, WIC, Central Enrollment, etc...

and my own eye appointment. It's time to see how my eye surgery is going.

And at the end of it all, today, Top cooked a BBQ for us. What an amazing Soldier. I have such immense respect for him. Even more so now.

Well, all for now.

My Hardest Post

I've been working on this post for days. Typing it, deleting it, reworking it...

It's not gotten any easier.

I've had so much I've wanted to write, and quite frankly, it's just been too difficult to write this post, thus making the others not worth writing.


Prologue

The last few days of our leave, Leesh started having some real difficulties. Dizziness, walking, nausea, balance, numbness in arms and legs... all of these were problems she was having. We figured that she'd perhaps overdone it on the vacation, or twisted something. Either way, to be sure, I made an appointment for the first thing Monday after we got back (It meant being on the phone at 0400 in the States to do it, but it seemed important. I take no chances.)

We made our sojourn back to Germany (an ordeal I do not want to endure again anytime soon, thankyouverymuch...). Settled in... and on Monday (28 August), off she went to her appointment and I back to work.

The doc at our local clinic diagnosed it as a likely pinched nerve and several days rest and elevated foot would make things better.

Sounds reasonable, so we went with it.

Tuesday, we went to a previously scheduled appointment with our wonderful cancer doctor. Now, he wasn't aware of the developments during the leave, or since the last checkup, but he had gotten a heads-up through our liaison. Anyway, we did an examination...

I have had this recurring thought that I remember when Ellicia and I would sit and stare at the ultrasound displays, looking through the confusing swirls and shadows for the distinctive baby parts and looking for the movement and sharing the joy of the new life that we created and is growing inside her body. These days, we sit in the same type rooms, using the very same machines, staring at the same swirls... trying to make out the signs of the masses from the disease that is destroying her from the inside... hoping not to see anything, hoping with the same fervency that the doctor (who somehow knows what all those shapes and shadows are) will give us good news.

Anyway, we confirmed the tumor in her breast has returned, as we already knew - but now the Doc knows it, too. With this knowledge, we all quickly agreed that the smartest course of action would be to proceed to surgery the next week. It would be either a partial or full mastectomy, determined by some biopsy core samples he extracted that day, but irregardless, surgery would be needed. So, sometime Wednesday or Thursday the next week, we would have surgery.

It's the smartest choice, really. Go ahead and remove the source of the tumor. Obviously, it's come back, and it's smart to try to take it all off. Less risk of missing a cancer cell.

You see, the best analogy we've come up for cancer is that it's like Kudzu. If you don't kill each and every single cancer cell, then you haven't accomplished a thing.

Obviously, even though we'd all thought the cancer was gone through successful treatment, the re-emergence of the tumor means that it's not, nor was it ever, gone.



On Wednesday, Leesh was still feeling the effects of numbness, difficulty walking, nausea at all hours, and dizziness, so she went back to the clinic. Due to what we think of as the clinic's fear of making any further errors with her, the doctor this time referred her to a neurologist. Even though it's a busy time for the unit and I was really needed, we scheduled it for the next day... Thursday.


Thursday
After depositing the children at all the various points around post, we headed off to Nurenburg for our appointment. We figured we'd be there a couple of hours, some quick tests, and we'll be back home... even in time for me to go back to work. My uniform was in the back of the car, for this purpose.

We arrive and are quickly seen. We've brought all of our old x-rays, MRIs, and even her entire medical file. Believe it or not, we actually travel with these items now.

We went through just about every kind of test and machine that he had in his office. We tried coordination tests, tests like a Field Sobriety test, electrodes on her head, and even more ultrasounds. Ultrasounds of the head, neck, eyes, etc. And then, they did a new MRI.



The News

The doctor spoke very good English, and he told us that all of his tests had come out negative for any problems. And he believed that she really was having these problems. He showed us the MRI of her head. And then he showed us the tumors.

The breast cancer has metastisized to her brain. There are tumors in her brain. Brain cancer.

The neurologist contacted our cancer doctor, who was attending a cancer conference. He rescheduled the mastectomy to this Tuesday, with her checking-in to the hospital on Monday.

We drove home... numb, but with things we had to do.


Friday, we went back for more tests. We had x-rays, and another MRI, this time of the spine.

I suppose one sign of the seriousness was that when it was all over, we were sent back to the neurologist, where with a waiting room full of people, and us with no appointment, we were led directly into his office.

The news is this. There are eleven tumors in her brain. If you were to divide her brain into quadrants, then at least two of the tumors would be as large as the quadrant. There are also metastatic tumors in her lungs (again).

So, we have breast cancer, lung cancer, and brain cancer. And like the neurologist told us, while the situation is not hopeless, it is extremely serious. If we do nothing at all, she likely has no more than a few months.



What Now?

What now... That's the question we've been facing for the last several days. We've come to the acceptance that within a year, I'll likely be a single father. By acceptance, I don't mean to imply happiness or anything like that. More like many, many tears.

We have cried a lot. All of our hopes, dreams, and plans... well, those seem out the window now.

Everything we do now is seen through the prism of the cancer. Wondering what we can do to preserve her for the children. Crying over how young the children are and if they'll remember her.

It's been a long weekend. We're getting ready for her surgery.

My unit has been extremely supportive. My 1SG is amazing, and as my Commander spelled out to me, my place of duty is my family. The rest of the chain of command, likewise.

And now, we just try to go day by day.

A Moving Music Video

This was sent to me, and I'm glad I got it (Thanks, Katy). Seems quite a moving video.

I'm hoping this works so I can share it with you...

Pictures From the Air - 3

Waterfalls and a nice commemorative photo!

(The yellow bag belts are the emergency lifevests in the unlikely event of a water landing.)

 

More Pictures From the Air

From here, we can see lava as it flows, and eventually meets the ocean, forming new land...


 

Exploring Hawai'i - From the Air

But wait, that's not all. After our submarine journey, we drove to the other side of Hawai'i for the second part of our adventurous day.

Neither Ellicia nor I had ever been in a helicopter prior to this day. However, one of the best ways to explore the Big Island with its picturesque waterfalls and volcanoes is by helicopter.

So, we were off. We flew over the volcano and could see the lava running in rivers directly underneath the crust. We then went and watched the newest land on Earth being created as the lava flowed into the ocean, cooled, and hardened. The island was growing before our very eyes.

Next, we flew to a different side of the island to see waterfalls. The waterfalls are truly majestic as some are 2,000 ft. tall. The pilot maneuvered the helicopter in such a way that we were in the valley, land rising high above us, hovering with the waterfall seemingly right in front of us where we could touch it.

A truly inspiring experience. While there was some air sickness, it did not detract from the great time we had and we enjoyed the helicopter ride thoroughly.

Afterwards, we returned to the airport and flew back to Oahu and our hotel. What a day... what a day.

More Submarine Pictures

Note the depth gauge!

 

Exploring Hawai'i - Below the Seas

Today was a special day. We woke up super early (0300) and flew over to the Big Island. The airport in Kona was super quaint as it is completely open-air and not at all like most commercial airports we experience during our travels.

For the first part of the day, we were to take our very first submarine trip.
We would be on an Atlantis submarine. This is a real, honest-to-goodness submarine. It seats 50 people and goes out off-shore, and tours the underwater reefs for about an hour. It's lined with panoramic picture windows. For the duration of the trip, we sit there with our noses practically glued to the glass. We see pretty fish, the reefs, and the the beautiful blue of Hawai'ian water.

Finally, we end up sitting on the bottom of the ocean, 100 feet down. Ok, so it's not that deep, but... not often that we get to do such a thing, no? It was an amazing experience! It's difficult to put words to such a once-in-a-lifetime adventure. We highly recommend it.

 

Quiet Day of Relaxation

Today, we decided to take in... absolutely nothing. We stayed in the hotel and enjoyed the beach and surrounding areas.

We would often be frequented by one of these lovely fine-feathered folks. Isn't it cute?

In the evening, we had the pleasure of the Marine Band concert. What a treat! An open-air concert while we dined...
What a delight.

It was a great day and a wonderful way to spend a day in Hawai'i... 

Secluded Waterfalls in Hawai'i

We started off with our first tour - a tour of hidden and secluded waterfalls on Oahu. We went to beautiful state parks, and a waterfall (pictured here) that the local kids still use as a watering hole. With just a few steps, the city noises would disappear, and we were surrounded by tranquil sounds of nature.

Along the way, we saw a wedding, with a waterfall as the backdrop. We also went to an extremely windy overlook from where we could see several other islands.

It was an entrancing tour that required a bit of hiking, but also, because many people don't go for such tours (preferring the air-conditioned buses instead), we had a knowledgeable local tour guide practically to ourselves. Amazing... and so paradise-like. Certainly a nice start to our trip.


 

Trip For a Lifetime - The Beginning

Ellicia and I have taken off for a "Trip of a Lifetime". Sort of a reward for Afghanistan and Cancer.

First stop - Hawai'i. Thanks to the military, we have a beautiful hotel right on Waikiki. The Hale Koa is a military-only hotel on the grounds of the former Army Ft. Derussy. It is right next to the Hilton. I've included views from our hotel room. (We had an ocean-view room, looking out also onto the garden and pools, for only $129 per night. There are rooms as cheap as $60-70 per night! Not bad for Hawai'i!)

Anyway, here we are, and we're really looking forward to our adventure. Pretty tuckered out, but tomorrow is a wonderful day in paradise!  

Four Generations!

As part of our visit, we visited with Ellicia's mother ("Granny" now) and Grandmother (it's easier if we just keep her as "Grandmother", but she's the kids' Great-Grandmother).

Anyway, as you can see in this picture, we have four generations all together...

Amazing...

We're very pleased (look at that grin on the lady in the middle).