What to do with our oldest? Two weeks ago, we had issues with her dragging a kid around the playground and throwing rocks at him.
It got her grounded for two weeks and no being outside without an adult with her.
That was lifted this weekend. I, and our neighbor friends, let her play outside while we watched from the window. See how she'll do...
Sunday, she bit a girl. (Yes, the girl is one whom she's been told not to play with because she's a bully and hits her, insults her, and is mean to her. This girl hit ours with a purse, so instead of doing as she's been told (and can recite to us at any time), and coming to find a grown-up, she bites her.
Today, while she's playing outside, I mosey out to start collecting the children. As I round the corner of our building, I look into the playground and see our child JUMPING up and down on the back of another child. From the stories we've been given, she also had taken a stick and poked the boy several times. They'd been playing "Husband and Wife" (a forbidden game), and he was mean, so... given the choice of doing what she's been told and getting a grown-up, she chooses violence.
We're running out of options. Grounding doesn't work. Restrictions don't work. Spankings don't work (and are not a viable punishment in this case, anyway). Confiscations don't seem to bother her. In short, she doesn't care. She knows the rules. She doesn't care.
We don't know what to do.
And we worry that she's teaching, by example, the next one in line... who is learning with rapt attention.
We don't know what to do.
2 comments:
You need to use a positive method. Make a contract with her - has to be mutual - show her how to negotiate - make it visual like a chart - for every "good" day - or you can break it into periods - she gets the point. Bad - she looses the point. Identify behavior you want to eliminate. Different amount of points can go to different behaviors if you want. Start with 1 or 2. Points go to the reward. The first reward she needs to get relatively fast so she can "taste" it. You need to transfer the responsibility for her behavior to her. Gosh, I wish I could just give you a phone call. I'm in early intervention. It looks like she doesn't know how to control her emotions. E-mail me, maybe I could help.
ponar@comcast.net
Parenthood - don't you just love it. It would be so much easier if they came with instructions. Come to think of it, a 15 year return guarantee would be handy.
Just my two cents - it sounds as if the girls are confused/scared/ concerned/worried about Mom. Hang in there. Just keep lovin' and huggin' them.
Sue - TheJewelryLady
Post a Comment