A Special Moment

Been wallowing a bit, feeling... lost. Adrift.

Anywho, I was detemined to really try to pull together for the holiday, and as part of the effort, we were going to have a family time... Is it the family that was? No, but it is the family that is.

Picked the kids up, and as a surprise, headed off to the local minor league baseball team statium for a baseball game! It was my first pro-game, and T's, too. M's third... which was good, cause this way she at least understood what was going on. While she may not yet grasp the infield fly rule, but then, who does... she does understand the basics of the game. T, on the other hand, was happy with learning that some guys were just trying to hit the ball, catch the ball, and run around the bases.

We had a great time... between ballpark feasting and the music, and their favorites, the mascots... it was fun.


And then (mercifully for some), the game ended.

And it was time to celebrate what M calls "A Special Day". First, the announcer had the music guy play the service songs. For those who don't know, this is a neat tradition. The Army, and I presume all the other branches, have a rule that when your song plays, you stand. And for those who aren't up on all the latest rules, the announcer will usually ask those present to stand whenever their affiliated service song plays.

So, the music starts, and the first song is... (instrumentally) "First to fight..."

HOOAH!

I stand. Cheering. Go Army! Looking down, I have two beaming smiles there. As a later conversation in the car made clear, these two children are all too aware of a) what Daddy does, and that b) it means being apart and c) sacrifices are involved. Yet, they are proud of their Daddy and what Soldiers do. 6 and 4, folks... 6 and 4.

The other services go through... and it's time for fireworks.

There were, predictably, the little babies who are terrified by fireworks, but not these two, they LOVED it. And while the fireworks flew, and we hugged, and oohed, and ahhed... I reflected on past 4ths.

I remember my first 4th with M... sneaking down from AIT to watch fireworks in Duck Ditch with E and her... she loved it then...

A year later, we were apart. I in Deutschland, and they waiting to come over in the States. However, the good news was that the 4th in that year was but a few weeks shy of a wonderful wedding. And the 4th at an overseas base is a unique experience.

The next year, the 4th was also spent apart. This time, I was again at an overseas base, but this time, it was in more hostile territory (hint, see name of blog). E was in Deutschland, and the family was larger. And it was still neat.

Following that came a together Fourth, the last... in Deutschland, too.

I'm kinda hazy on the next one. I really can't recall exactly what we did. I think the kids were with their grandfather, but... as that year totally sucked, much of it has been blocked.

We had a decent Fourth, well, sort of, after that... the fireworks were cool, but there was much tension around... not exactly a happy one.

And now, there was this experience. A restart. Independence from... the past? Hoping for a better future? I don't know, don't want to get too deep. However, sitting there... at a baseball game (of all places), I felt something that had been missing for a few Fourths.

Family.

They're getting so big, and starting to be their own individuals. And while they can be frustrating as kids are wont to do (and adults), I treasure them. They keep me going. And to hold them, and have them hug and lean into me, and ooh and ahh, cheering, as we sang (some knowing the words, others making up sounds as they go along) to the patriotic music, perhaps the best feeling was this:

Progress.

Not a huge step, but the biggest steps are often the smallest.

Happy Fourth, everyone!